Westlife played an “intimate show” to 1,000 loyal punters (including Louis Walsh) in the newly-refurbished O2 on Friday night.

We were there! (actually it was our niece).

The entire show lasted 45 minutes.

45 minutes from the Westlifers comprises:

00:00 – 00:05 House band attempts to quell applause
00:05 – 00:10 House band praises the venue and their good friend Harry Crosbie.
00:10 – 00:15 House band praises Louis, taking time out from X Factor
00:15 – 00:18 House band waits for X Factor-related applause to abate
00:18 – 00:20 Mark from house band tearfully praises God
00:20 – 00:25 Song #1: Random self-penned gusset-moistener (Flying without wings)
00:25 – 00:28 Three minutes pause to allow for sufficient hankies and crotch-mops
00:28 – 00:33 Song #2: Clammy slab of dehydrated seventies gastric spew (Oh Mandy)
00:33 – 00:35 Praise for the solitary loser towards the back who loudly loved Manilow.
00:35 – 00:40 Song #3: Final attempt to validate the hat-trick by blarting another home-produced monster (“When you’re looking like that”)
00:40 – 00:45 Riot suppression