45 thoughts on “Non Sexist Movie Plots

  1. edalicious

    As someone who has worked in a couple of offices with a large proportion of women, I reckon Saving Private Ryan might be… eh… a tad far-fetched.

    *ducks*

  2. Clampers Outside!

    The Non-Sexist Sex In The City plot…

    Man goes to pub. Meets woman with big hoop and large breasts. Refers to woman as Ms Big Hoop n’ Tits for the duration of their on /off relationship. Man dumps woman eventually.

    *bolts door on bomb shelter*

    1. scottser

      move over clamps..

      the non-sexist plot to thelma and louise:

      2 birds hoor their way round the states taking selfies as they go. end up accidentally driving over a cliff during a row over who’s shoes are nicest.

        1. SOMK

          How ‘sure’?

          Were you literally dressed as a clown as you typed that and simulataniously squeezed a comedy horn when you clicked ‘post comment’?

          Did you ask anyone in you office/public transpost/prison cell whether not this was a good joke before submitting it for the whole of humanity to see?

          When you ask people “hey tell me the truth, am I funny?” do they awkwardly touch the back of the neck, look from side to side and generally hesitate before saying “yeah you’re kinda funny in a way, I guess, I mean sometimes, it was funny when you knocked over the water cooler on Tuesday, kinda…”.

          How many Hawaiian shirts do you own?

          Have you ever grown a moustache? If so rate on a scale from 0-10 how ironic you were being.

  3. Ross

    There are some people who are always looking for victimhood somewhere. Actually some of these movie plots you’ve come up with are sexist towards men but that’s ok I suppose.

    1. SOMK

      Yes there are some people who are always looking for victomhood somewhere, just as there are some people who seem to take personal insult at the notion that there exists things like discrimination and who construct this fantasy image of people perpetually pretending suffer rather than actually suffering (and in doing so are probably projecting), which insulates from the mental effort of sustaining mirror neruons, from time to time they feeled compelled to sustain this world view by expressing it publically in the deluded pretext that they are offering an original thought, where as really they are engaged in an quasi mastabortial act, justifying their world-view and insulated mindstate mostly for themselves (and identifying theselves to others in the process who share their views), often in the process revealing nothing but their rather misanthropic world-view and clcihéd thinking and adding absolutely nothing to any discourse, ever; people who adaopt the disposition of contrian whilst in reality they are dillegent propagandists for the status quo (from which they almost invariably get their status, real or imagined).

      And you’re right some of those plots ARE sexist towards men, well done you understood half the joke.

      1. John E. Bravo

        Tangential, rather than disagreeable, to say, but I looked up “mastabortial” in the hope of learning a hilarious new word. Google returned three results – this thread; “ProWrestling Fans WWE TNA Forum – View Single Post …” and “Retard thread. – ProWrestling Fans WWE TNA Forum”.

        I don’t understand why “Retard thread” was the lowest ranking entry.

  4. Isabel

    that old maggie thatcher excuse – so britain has one female prime minister who was dodgy and that means no woman should ever have power? Cos all male rulers have been enlightened, right?

    1. rotide

      Nice two footed jump to conclusion there pardner.

      The old ‘Maggie Thatcher excuse’ is that women are no different to men when it comes to persuing wars and we would be in no better or worse shape if women were in charge because you know, people are people.

    2. .meh

      Well, Britain does have a history of female leaders going to war. Elizabeth the 1st being a prime example. Further afield Indira Gandhi loved a good war. In fairness they were for independence but war is war.

  5. Anne

    The Non Sexist Version of Pretty woman – (well satirical version).

    or watch Richard Gere
    follow the Dali Lama around the world and then do
    those oh-so-Zen like movies with those oh-so-Zen like
    messages like, “Hey! It’s fun to be a prostitute!” I
    can’t wait to spread my legs across Hollywood Blvd.

    Because then maybe some rich, handsome billionaire
    in a Jag will come driving up and take me shopping on
    Rodeo Drive and that’s what a woman’s all about
    anyway, right? Sucking and shopping and sucking and
    shopping and sucking and shopping but hey, who am I
    to argue because it’s the feel good movie of the
    summer, it’s the feel good movie of the year, it’s the
    feel good movie of the Nineties, it’s the feel good
    movie of the Millennium, and you know what? If it
    puts a spring in your step and a song in your heart,
    well… whatever makes you happy,
    Whatever makes you happy,
    Whatever makes you happy,
    Whatever makes you happy,
    Whatever gives you hope.

    Even if it’s a truly tasteless joke.
    Bongwater, Folk Song.

          1. Anne

            I think I’ve been put in moderation by the administrators, as I called someone a monkey who kept on about bananas. Nasty stuff.

            I’m afraid I won’t be back.

    1. will-billy

      who me? yes I do hate the ladies. hate for instance the long queues and that you have to squat instead of using a urinal. much prefer the gents

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