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The Dunnes Stores Xmas 2014 ad.

Simon Chapman writes:

I was wondering if you can ask what the premise of the Dunnes advert is? It seems to be a man going to his mother’s house, where his child is. He is bringing the child a book given to him by his father.
A few questions…Is he coming home from work? Where is the child’s mother/his wife? (No problems if they’re divorced, but if so who is the older lady?) If it’s his mum, why isn’t the book already at her house? So many questions!

Anyone?

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54 thoughts on “Ask A Broadsheet Reader

  1. Stewart Curry

    Is he coming home from work? Yes
    Where is the child’s mother/his wife? Still at the office / dead
    (No problems if they’re divorced, but if so who is the older lady?) His mum
    If it’s his mum, why isn’t the book already at her house? Because it was in his house.
    So many questions!

  2. kerryview

    That’s his wife – what makes you think it’s his mother? In any event the ad is commercial trash.

  3. Alfred E. Neumann

    Why is he wandering around the city “patting” other peoples children? What “things can yield him pleasure” from looking up into (presumably) bedroom windows?

    On the non-pervert side, why is he looking “down” into people’s kitchens? Is he on stilts?

      1. Alfred E. Neumann

        That’s the expurgated version, isn’t it? My copy starts: “Tiny Tim, light of my life, fire of my loins.”

  4. Chompleton

    Its a dream and hes sleeping outside the Customs House. His white guilt made him include a token Asian mid-way.

    1. Bob Harris

      That’s Yumiko – the model on almost every catwalk in Dublin.
      Missed her the first 20 times. It’s the advert that keeps on giving!

  5. John Cassidy

    Yes, I reckon the auld wan is his wife and she had her ovaries frozen years ago so she could concentrate on her career. Then when the multinational she worked for decided they wanted young blood, they turfed her out and because she was an empowered woman, she inevitably became a cougar and nabbed herself a nice young man (I’d do him too) and got him to do the business on her freshly thawed ovaries begetting that lovely child.
    Isn’t Christmas wonderful folks?

  6. Funk

    These ads are becoming the bane of my life at christmas.

    You want to sell me groceries, why are you trying to make me cry?

  7. Mani

    Ok here goes. As everyone knows, the character of Ebeneezer Scrooge was based upon the mad alchemist ‘Neezer Scrog’ who discovered that the true philosphers stone was allegorical, it did not turn ‘lead into gold’ rather in transmuted physical life into a spirit form, thus rendering one virtually immortal. This process was complex but Scrog laboured endlessly until it could be performed by the utterance of a few careful phrases wherein his soul would be permitted to ‘leap’ from his ailing elderly frame into that of to a younger willing (or unwilling) host. He conspired with Dickens, a fellow Alkhemor, to have this incantation littered amongst the text of his seminal work ‘A Christmas Carol’, assured that the timeless nature of Dickens’ writing would ensure safe access to the ceremonial words across the ages.

    So…to answer your question..this advert shows the initial stages of Scrog’s next body swap, with the little girl being the target. The elderly lady is one of his acolytes who has procured the girl at the hope that Scrog will share his secret of immortality before the cancer that gnaws at her bones finally runs its fateful course. He will, of course, not do so. Such is his way.

    1. Owen

      You could be onto something here. Also, I think there is a link to Madeleine Mccann in there too. You have to look beyond what your eyes are telling you. It’s the Christmas spirit.

  8. Starina

    Christmas at granny’s house and his daughter’s been there all day helping her while dad and mam/other dad are at work. Mam/other dad hasn’t got home yet. Seems reasonable to me.

  9. Don Pidgeoni

    God, that just didnt work….Take 2

    So, basically an ad has OP flummoxed because theres no Mum and the Dad is outside?

  10. Gabby

    So the hero of our story just got out of prison and is getting the bus home reading the book his cellmate ‘Dad’ gave him.
    On his way home he sees a family turfed out onto the street with only a Christmas tree to burn for warmth and a child dreaming of happier times.
    He meets some ladies who are running away from an unpaid bill in a restaurant and they clumsily bump into our hero. Behind his fixed grin he curses the ground they walk upon – he will not break parole for these women… not this time. We then see a man trying to seduce a woman he has just met on the street and holds her waist so she cannot escape and whispers his lust-filled thoughts into her ear.
    Two homeless children try to keep warm and exchange rocks they have found as Christmas gift. Life has been kind to them this year, as a donation of winter woolens will stop Aoife losing another toe to frostbite.
    Meanwhile, a dog cries as his one true love (his Labrador mate) has been slaughtered, cooked and served up for Christmas. It is a confusing moment of grief combined with hunger.
    A woman locked in a bedroom by her cruel son looks down as grandchildren arrive. She knows she will have to cook an extra large dinner tonight before the egg throwing ceremony begins. But she is happy in the bosom of her family.
    Our hero arrives home to a welcome from his daughter (that is actually not his at all) who he has only seen behind a pane of glass. Then the camera turns and we see Dad’s wife who our hero has actually been having a secret affair with, and we realise that she is actually the leader of the whole criminal gang and is doing very well for herself.
    THE END

  11. Quint

    Myself, my girlfriend and my sister have all been trying to figure out what’s been going on in the ad for the last week or so. I THINK he’s just coming home from work and his wife is dead. His mother is looking after his child. I think. No, hold on…

    1. GiGi

      Hubby came in from work the other night and caught the beginning of this on the telly. Is there a new Guinness he asked. Isn’t that guy with the gravely voice the Guinness man? We had to watch all the way through to realise it was Dunnes Stores. Some serious aspirational over-reaching there on the part if the team who thought that this reflects Dunnes Stores where I have mostly had the sticky floor, broken wheel on trolley and security man collecting teenagers who nick and drink energy drinks. Marks and Spencer it will never be.

      P.S. I prefer Lidl as a weekly shopping experience.

      1. Kieran NYC

        Barry’s Tea ‘turn the moment gold’, no?

        Been a long time since he was ridin’ all around him in Glenroe.

  12. Dirmius

    His wife is upstairs doing something. She’s the woman in red top at 21 seconds. The older lady is probably his mother or his wife’s mother who may be visiting (it is Christmas after all) or perhaps she lives with them. I don’t know why he had the book his father gave him on his person at the start. I’m sure he had very good reason.

  13. Frilly Christmas Everyone*

    Note to Dunnes

    Couldn’t give a tinsel about your fancy ad

    I wanna know what price yer Quality Street tins are

  14. Liam

    WTF does it have to do with Dunnes Stores though?

    Ahhh, pleasing nostalgic xmas scene… MUST BUY €300 OF ST. BERNARD TAT NOW!

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