Derek writes:
The Vodafone Comedy Carnival returns to Galway NEXT WEEK for SEVEN days of giggling from Tuesday October 20 to Monday October 26.
The lineup features Dylan Moran, Jason Manford, Rich Hall and Nina Conti Stewart LeeAndrew Maxwell, Jason Byrne, PJ Gallagher, Foil Arms and Hog, Al Porter, Phill Jupitus, Shappi Khorsandi, Terry Alderton, Tiffany Stevenson, Seann Walsh, Aisling Bea, Hal Cruttendon, Beardyman Abandoman, Ardal O’ Hanlon, Après Match, David McSavage, Colin Murphy and Bernard O’ Shea. Faulty Towers: The Dining Experience. The Simpsons Backstage Tour with Mike Reiss. Karl Spain, Patrick Kielty and Deirdre O’Kane and many more.
We have A PAIR of tickets to one of five selected gigs at the festival to giveaway. To enter, just complete this comedy festival opening….
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many___________I’d have brought my_________________’
Lines MUST close at Midnight.
Vodafone Comedy Carnival Galway
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many crustafarians I’d have brought my extra large bottle of shampoo
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many hipsters I’d have brought my tommy gun
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many blow-ins I’d have brought my special torch’
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many hookers I’d have brought my Swedish pen1s enlarger
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many stag parties I’d have brought my cardboard sign and thumbed to Ennis
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many hotties on tinder I’d have brought my box of monster condoms for my magnum dong.
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many museums and art galleries, I’d have brought my children so they could learn some of the city’s history and experience the cultural delights on offer here. I don’t really like doing this comedy thing, you see.
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many roundabouts I’d have brought my Stugeron and my centrifugal resistance.
haha
is your sturgeon called Nicola?
Yes, and I’ve a salmon called Alex.
As a Galwegian myself, I think this is a winner :)
I read that as Glaswegian
Clampers darling book the G hotel, I wanted to be pampered and clampered ;)
Gerrup !
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you’d had so many banjo players I would have brought my strap on
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many BS readers who morph into flies around pooe at the mention if the word “free” I’d have brought my can of insect killer and watched them slowly die, writing around in pain and gasping for air!’
‘….typing around in pain’ ..no?
Sure.
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you’d had so many roundabouts I would have brought my Canadian buddy to hear him keep saying roundabout.
Or…
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you’d had so many roundabouts I would have brought my cousin Doogle.
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many BS readers who morph into flies around sh**e at the mention of the word “free” I’d have brought my can of insect killer and watched them slowly die, writhing around in pain and gasping for air!’
Is that you Stewart Lee?
It’s great to be back in Galway, if I’d known you had so many Spiddals I’d have brought my Speedos
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many ghost estates I’d have brought my Proton Pack.
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many gullible Americans I’d have brought my Leprechaun artifacts to sell.
It’s great to be back in Galway, wait… I’m in Galway? Oh shite, I thought the bus said Cork.
It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many single fishermen I’d have brought my mankini colection to parade through the spanish Arches and show those fine men a thong or 2.
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many bad jokes, I’d have brought my coat.
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many buskers, I’d have brought my pan-pipes, stood outside Easons and tried to sell my greatest hits collection.”
‘It’s great to be back in Galway. If I’d known you had so many train stations, I’d have brought my train.
It’s great to be back in Galway, if I’d known you had so many funny comedians I’d have brought my waterproof underpants