Conor McGregor (right) and  Eddie Alvarez (left( at a UFC press conference yesterday

A tired luvvie in a fur coat
Tried to grab the world’s press by the throat
But his act with a chair
Failed to go anywhere
And his one-liners hit a bum note.

John Moynes


72 thoughts on “A Limerick A Day

  1. Anomanomanom

    I love any irish success story, gladly admit I’m a bandwagon jumper, but he’s just a complete knob head.

    1. Neilo

      The legacy of UFC clogs up A+Es all over this island every Saturday night: enthusiastic neophytes of pankration in grey trackies with kilo bags of frozen oven chips held to their battered faces.

      1. Bertie Blenkinsop

        It’s just the popular sport of the day though.
        Remember back in our day Neilo, when snooker was all the rage?
        Gangs of mullet headed lads in tuxedos rampaging through the streets, drawing blue chalk lines around their battered victims….
        ( I may have dreamt this )

        1. Neilo

          I didn’t dream my highly stylin’ Dennis Taylor face furniture*, Bertie: a look so enduring it re-entered vogue with the immortal Blanche in Coronation St during the noughties.

          *My glasses are pure Harry Palmer with a soupcon of Nigel Powers thrown in.

  2. Neilo

    This pre-fight stuff is trite and utterly predictable. While I admire the fighters’ athleticism, I loathe Dana White, the billionaire carnival barker who is no better than he ought to be.

      1. Donger

        Don’t forget music! Modern music is rubbish unlike in the 70’s when Gary Glitter and co rocked it out. Also, modern sportsmen are wusses compared to those of yesteryear.

      2. jusayinlike

        “a tint of violence”

        Have you seen the guys going around mopping the blood off the mat after each fight in these events

        1. ReproBertie

          After many fights yes but not all. This is a violent sport. There is a warning to that effect at the start of every broadcast. Have you never seen footage of GAA, soccer or rugby players with blood injuries? Have you never seen corner men in boxing trying to stem the flow of blood from cuts received? What about all those videos of soccer players breaking legs? Any sport that involves physical contact has the potential for injury. Sometimes that injury results in cuts. This is not unique to MMA.

          1. Bertie Blenkinsop

            To be fair Repro Bertie, it’s estimated that there are over 250 million worldwide who play soccer regularly and most of that list you linked to died as a result of cardiac arrest, not being beaten senseless.

  3. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    Give him a Burger King crown
    And tell him to put the chair down
    Then sit down and reflect
    That if he wants respect
    He has to stop acting the clown

      1. Daisy Chainsaw

        It wasn’t the “underclass” that delivered a Trump presidency. Low paid workers voted Clinton, the rich voted Trump.

    1. Captain Redbeard

      It’s a Joe Frazier reference, 1974.

      Reading the comments here,
      I think it’s pretty clear,
      That there’s ne’er a fight fan near.

      1. Anomanomanom

        Its not that people are not fight fans, he’s just not liked by anyone with a brain. Id love nothing more than to see a good fight but like boxing it very rarely lives up to the hype.

        1. Captain Redbeard

          Boxing may not be in vogue these days, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t good fights. There are problems getting the best to fight the best though, due to the proliferation of different promotions.

          A problem from which MMA is largely free, with only a few major organisations competing over talent. To that end, there’s great fights on almost every week. Just the other day Ferguson/RDA was an absolute cracker.

          In short, I respectfully disagree. And we’ll leave it at that.

    1. Daisy Chainsaw

      It’s what happens in “sports” where people beat the lard out of each other, braggart men act like kids in a playground to make themselves look big and to generate publicity.

      Soap opera for boys.

      1. ReproBertie

        The premier league is the biggest soap opera for boys what with all the plotlines around managers not liking each other and players falling out and all the other off field guff that takes up more press time than the actual games.

        1. Neilo

          And when the games start, they’re often 0-0 “absorbing encounters”. UFC is very much not my thing but at least there’s the chance of a little excitement.

  4. Neilo

    Not necessarily, Whevs, but this isn’t an occasion for those of us who favour cakestands and doilies. If that were the case, we’d be seeing Alan Bennett take on Brian Sewell in the octagon.

  5. 15 cents

    the state of the jacket .. id love to know what went on, instead of tryin to figure it out from a fuppin limerick. but sounds like he was actin like a complete idiot .. obvo didnt learn from losing the first fight to diaz, that if he acts like that and loses he looks really stupid.

  6. ReproBertie

    It’s no secret that I’m a McGregor fan. This media circus stuff is what draws the viewers and that’s what makes him the UFC’s biggest pay day. It doesn’t hurt that he backs it up in the octagon. I fully expect him to win this weekend and become the first dual weight champion. He’ll probably give up the featherweight title then and stay at lightweight which is a better fit for his size.

    McGregor is a fighter and some people find that distasteful (A&E rooms being overcrowded with drunken brawlers is not something that only came along with the rise of UFC) but he’s also a guy with an incredible work ethic and discipline. He’s a perfect example for anyone that through hard work and dedication dreams can be achieved.

    1. Boy M5

      “he’s also a guy with an incredible work ethic and discipline”

      It’s nonsense to use this as a reason to admire him. Serial killers have discipline and work ethic. Dictators do. Assassins do. This chump is a freak show making millions more for others than for himself. He is no example to follow. He plays a game that has no real rules, no respect for the nature of sport.

      Kids should be admiring people for their contribution to good societies where people let others live in peace and show empathy and care towards others who are not able to cope so well.

      No child of mine will think some monkey in a cage is something is aspire to.

      1. ReproBertie

        “He plays a game that has no real rules, no respect for the nature of sport.”

        If there are no real rules then why is there a referee in the octagon?

      2. ReproBertie

        It’s nonsense to use hard work and discipline, two qualities that are required to succeed in anything in life, as a reason to admire him? Well if you want to encourage your kids to think that just breezing through will be enough that’s your choice.

        While you’re looking for people who contribute to good societies and “show empathy and care towards others who are not able to cope so well” for your kids to admire you might want to take a look at that fella from Crumlin who donated €50K to homeless charities. Give me a minute and I’m sure I’ll remember his name…

      3. Neilo

        Hold the goddamned phone: another absolutely anodyne comment of mine has been removed. Broadsheet’s Ministry Of Truth strikes again!

      4. Steph Pinker

        Boy M5/ Mr T; You wrote: ‘No child of mine will think some monkey in a cage is something is aspire to.’ – yet, you are an ardent supporter of Sinn Féin, and, by proxy its Kangaroo Courts, particularly in relation to other peoples’ children and young relatives [male or female]; so, is it a case of Monkey See, Monkey Do, or does that not apply to you and yours?

  7. norman bates

    m&a is trash it’s just 2 guys pretending to do boxing for a minute then they grab each other and roll around on the floor for 45 mins a good street fighter would finish any of them off

    1. ReproBertie

      No, I can guarantee you that a “good street fighter” wouldn’t finish any of them off.

      Nice work on promoting actual thuggery over sport though.

  8. Mourinho

    McGregor studied marketing while recovering from a serious knee injury.
    Turns out he’s very good at it.

    Don’t get angry at him. He’s putting on a show.

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