87 thoughts on “De Saturday Papers

  1. bad@memes

    @ Daily Mirror:

    You wouldn’t have gotten away with a headline like that in the 70s.

    Just sayin’…

    1. bad@memes

      PS.
      @ theguardian:

      Are you taking the P155 out of Viz?
      – I haven’t got me reading glasses with me, but your headlines…

      1. bad@memes

        I feel obliged to mention that there are other headlines on other ‘Newspapers’ worthy of similar or more severe scrutiny… and ridicule.

        …I just couldn’t be bothered.

      1. bad@memes

        Students… Students… Students..
        They never stop coming, do they?
        They shoot towards the sky, it falls in their eye…

        …and that’s just the girls…..

        1. bad@memes

          I never correct.
          If it ain’t broke, etc.

          I avoid conflict.
          Conflict is the fuel of the Internet, innit? I hate the Internet.
          Hang on a minute…

  2. bad@memes

    Hey everybody.

    Good morning.
    It’s nighttime.
    (I work in a lighthouse.)

    The postal service is absolutely 5/5-hite.

    Sorry if I woke you up.
    I was just being relentless in my efforts to ridicule moderation.
    I thought it was funny.
    Go back asleep.

    (I don’t really work in a light-house.
    I work in a submarine.)

  3. Clampers Outside!

    I think I know the whereabouts of the Garda boss. Ya see, I was down the chipper late and this lad came flyin’ out, nearly hittin’ a garda on the street.
    Then the young man turned gracefully to him and said. . . .
    “Sorry there, Garda boss”.

    I want a finders fee before I reveal any more information.

    1. bad@memes

      One day a girl said to me…

      …I’m only messing. I wasn’t listening…

      …that’s all the information you need.

  4. Jake38

    Worrying headline in the Indo.

    Looks like the sheer neverending outrageously expensive incompetence of the Irish legal system has finally started to impact on investment in this country.
    Expect more of this.

    1. LW

      So they fought the case successfully, and have now decided to abandon the plans? That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, surely if that was the reason they wouldn’t bother with the case

      1. martco

        it’s the dysfunctional way our planning system operates

        a determined clever appellant or one with access to expertise knows that causing sufficient delay via the legal route might be in itself enough to derail the proposed build nevermind the actual result

        likes of Apple are not depending on the availability of fields in Athenry & I’d say in this case the corporate sands moved in the time it took to get the supertanker turned and the objectors have in effect won

        I’d love to know who funded the objectors in the High Court

        1. LW

          So why would they continue with the case?
          I can understand the argument that the delay would make them change their minds, but if that was the case why wouldn’t they just drop the application?

          1. LW

            And it’s not like their counsel wouldn’t know the projected length of proceedings going into either. So they know ahead of time the likely cost and timeline, proceed with it, and then say because it took so long and cost so much they’re cancelling the project?

          2. martco

            Apple? guessing merely because it gives them an option down the line.

            still I’d love to know who funded the objectors. it’s a given Apple and those adjoined would obviously have deep pockets but the appellants? High Court time isn’t cheap.

  5. f_lawless

    Is our taoiseach a closet racist? The North Koreans are liable to behave like beasts towards you if you visit their country is it?

  6. Clampers Outside!

    When the nonsense identity politics of privilege mixes with victimhood culture…

    Students claim exams are systems of oppressive white privilege at UC Berkley.

    No, really :)
    Who says identity politics and victimhood culture doesn’t create infantalised idiots is foolish or blind. It clearly and demonstrably does.

    https://youtu.be/DZKRz1QXtC4

    1. LW

      What kind of reaction do you picture when you write these comments? Do you think someone’s reading it aloud, they pause and mutter to themselves “It can’t be true”. Then they read your “No, really”. Nodding in agreement with you, they plow on, finally shouting “He’s done it again! This man living in Ireland who’s inexplicably obsessed with the obscure attitudes of students in the US has struck gold this time!”

        1. Nigel

          Lol. You must. Lol. Lol harder. Point and lol. Roll on the floor, lolling. Lol. Lol harder. We’re only lolling. LOL YOU MUST LOL AT THESE PEOPLE WE DON’T HATE WE’RE ONLY LOLLING HARMLESSLY WE’RE HAVING SO MUCH LOLLING FUN LOL LOUDER LOL YOU, YOU LOLLING MOTHERLOLLER.

          1. Nigel

            This was mean. I feel bad. Feck it whatever brings joy to your heart, but we were all young and foolish once.

          2. LW

            I dunno man, if what brings joy to your heart is constantly trawling Twitter for people to sneer at, maybe it’s time to find a new hobby. I dunno if all the smiley faces and lols really equate to joy either

          3. LW

            Are they the same crowd who gave you that false tale of Sweden legalising child marriage? I follow comedians on Twitter, it’s a lot more funny than this stuff you’re trying to pass off as comedy. You should try it, do wonders for your blood pressure

          4. Clampers Outside!

            I’m not trying to pass off anything as comedy.
            It’s a funny and stupid situation these students dream up for themselves, due to the nonsense education they are receiving.

            Exams are white supremacist and the students demand to be allowed to sit their exams at home on their own so as to avoid the stress of sitting it in a colonial white supremacist format.

            I say again… “no, really!”

            This is funny because it is stupid.

            I’m not trying to pass off stuff as “comedy” as you put it. Maybe you’re expecting a routine… who knows…

            Little I can do about that interpretation, that’s up to you.

          5. Nigel

            Mean and cruel people need a laugh too. I wonder what the comments are like under that video he posted? Bet they’re a source of joy and warmth in the world.

          6. LW

            The reading comprehension letting you down again there Clamps. You said he was triggered, he mentioned it. He never said you were triggered

          7. LW

            Haha your reading comprehension is matched only by your self awareness. There’s no need to interpret it, it’s there in black and white. He never said you were triggered. Now, any response on these imaginary crime stats?

          1. Clampers Outside!

            Identity politics, implicit bias training, safe spaces, autoethnography /lived experience touted as scientific research, exaggerated claims that college campuses are centres of rape culture perpetrated higher than off campus ( Irish eh of that, see UCC and others)…. and so much more of the regressive left nonsense is teaching young adults to see victimhood, and claim victimhood at every turn. And it turns them into morons.

            These morons then go out into society spreading their ideologically informed victimhood to others….. it is not healthy for any society.

            Victimhood culture perpetuates victimhood in the individual and works counter to a healthy mental recovery for the victim.

          2. LW

            You’re something of an expert on exaggerated claims alright. Are you referring to the consent classes they brought in UCC? That you overreacted to before I linked you the content? Then you said it was fine as long as it didn’t change? What happened in the interim?

          3. LW

            Actually, speaking of exaggerated claims, you never explained your assertion that there were “no ‘rape’ reports to be found for UCC”

          4. LW

            Haha the old classic, I just suddenly got super busy, and I’ll come back to it. Another ghosting from Clampers. I’m really more interested to know where you’re getting your crime stats

          5. Clampers Outside!

            No.

            You brought it up, I’d like to read what I said months or maybe over a year ago.

            You brought it up, I asked for clarification by providing a link, so as to continue, and you deny that by getting a bit hissey.

            You want, then provide, thanks.

            or… just give over will ya :)

          6. LW

            LOL ;) You can keep the toilet duck holstered so.

            There’s nothing to come back to, the question is where you supposedly get your crime reports, it’s not something you’d need to research?

          7. LW

            How did you access the reports to the Gardaí clampers? Can you tell me if there were any rapes reported yesterday in Mayo?

          8. Clampers Outside!

            No. Go be facetious somewhere else. I looked up what I could and found nothing.

            The whole point of that thread from last year was that the idea that rape is more prevalent in colleges than in general society is a lie. Fact.

            The “1 in 5” stat that Obama used, about US colleges; colleges in UK getting on their and Ireland was following suit.

            1 in 5 has been well and truly rubbished as a stat. The yanks are getting rid of their kangaroo courts and the famous Title IX rule because of the lies. Google it.

          9. LW

            Clampers. This is an outrageous assertion. That you can somehow access confidential Garda files at the level of granularity that would allow you to confidently rule out any rapes in UCC for a particular period. It’s not being facetious to ask you to back up your exaggerated claims.
            To quote your good self “You brought it up, I asked for clarification by providing a link, so as to continue, and you deny that by getting a bit hissey.”

          10. LW

            Oh. Well then you really are dimmer than I even realised. You think confidential crime reports can be googled! Vintage. That’s before you even realise that something can happen without it being reported to the Gardaí. It’s tough to engage with you Clampers, ruthlessly driven by ideology as you are.

          11. LW

            Haha I’d love to know how I’ve misrepresented your bald statement that there were no rape reports. Bye pet ;)

          12. Nigel

            If the whole Weinstein thing has taught us anything it’s that by claiming to be victims of sexual assault and harassment all these women coming forwards are only making victims of themselves. it’s victim culture gone mad I tell you. They should have avoided claiming victimhood by remaining completely silent and the harassers and assaulters continue to victimise more victims who could then avoid claiming victimhood by remaining silent because everyone knows the real victims are the ones who stand up for themselves and each, other while the ones who remain silent thrive in excellent mental health.

          13. LW

            Ah you see, that caught that Victimhood from the college students. Probably hadn’t washed their hands. If only they’d joined whatever subreddit that immunised Clampers from the victimhood. Victimhood, one more time for good measure.

          14. Bertie Blenkinsop

            Lads, take the rest of the night off, it’s Saturday and Liverpool are 4-1 up :)*

            * I realise this could backfire spectacularly in a reverse Istanbul way

          15. Clampers Outside!

            You’re conflating two stories and two separate victim situations.

            Victimhood culture is not in the coming forward.

            Its problem is in perpetuating the idea that one is a victim for life.

            Your Weinstein comment is nothing to do with the specific student situation.

            Please, stay on topic, thanks.

          16. Nigel

            What if all that stuff you listed and despise in academia were a contributory factor to creating a culture where suddenly women looked around and found the strength and courage and will to come forward and, as you put it, ‘claim victimhood?’ What if it helped equip them with the language and perspective and connection with others that empowered them so that once the dam broke they were able to finally stand up? You’d look a bit silly then!

  7. Gabby

    Should the Taoiseach invite the North Korean leader to fly to Shannon for a wide-ranging chat over a medieval banquet in nearby Bunratty Castle? The sweet mead, eating beef sliced with a knife and no fork and listening to typical colleens singing to the accompaniment of the cláirseach might be conducive to an enlightening exchange of views on diverse topics.

  8. mildred st. meadowlark

    It wouldn’t be the weekend if Clamps and Nigel didn’t have at least one long-winded debate, would it? Would it?

    1. Bertie Blenkinsop

      Leave them to it, if Moonlighting taught us anything it’s that it’s all in the thrill of the chase.

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