Mattress Mick
This morning.
Donna parsons writes:
Today, Lucozade Zero announced that Mattress Mick is the new face of The Total Liberation Corporation, its zero-nonsense organization created to liberate the people of Ireland from all of life’s little woes.
Mick will be on hand to liberate fans of zero-sugar drinks from their little problems and minor grievances.
Lucozade Zero fans should message Mattress Mick with their irritations, questions and queries via WhatsApp on 085 150 3131 from Wednesday September 25 to Friday October 4.
Previously Mattress Mick on broadsheet
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Blow me. I’d like the World to be liberated from plastic bottles.
That’s two wishes.
I’d like the world to be liberated from the new recipe ‘original flavour’ lucozade. It’s muck.
How did he slip through Operation Yewtree?
Well done. You can take the rest of the day off.
Lucozade is gick since they took the sugar out of it. Change it back!
Your first three words sufficed Daisy!
Never understood the attraction to it meself?
Anyway, apparently people who drinks soft drinks are more likely to die younger than those who don’t.
I do love a can of coke zero the morning after a feed of beer. So between the beer and the hangover coke my time is probably close to being up. Least it was a fizzy life.
Please liberate me from
(a) single use plastics
(b) sugar-free pee which encourages consumption and results in obesity
(c) people who dump old mattresses in the countryside because they’ve been convinced they’re sleeping in a swamp of creepy-crawlies who’ll eat you alive, that is, if you haven’t passed on because you haven’t enough or have too much support