He Normally Does This [Updated]


This morning.

Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2.

Ministers of State at the Department of Justice James Browne TD (top second right) and Hildegarde Naughton TD (centre) helping launch the ‘Lock it or Lose it’ campaign to tackle bike theft.

Sam Boal/RollingNews


This morning.

A total of 6,845 bicycles have been reported stolen since January 2020 and April 23, 2021.

The average value of the stolen bicycles is €500 while 10% of the bikes were worth €1,000 or more.

More than 70% of the bicycles were reported stolen in the Dublin Metropolitan Region for a total of 4,825 bikes [compared to in Cork]…

A total of 2,139 bicycles were recovered throughout that period but these were not necessarily stolen during the same timeframe.

Nearly 7,000 bikes stolen since January 2020 (RTÉ)

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55 thoughts on “He Normally Does This [Updated]

  1. millie bobby brownie

    At the risk of sounding very naive, where are all those bikes going? Do they vanish into thin air, shergar-style?

        1. ce

          Not any more they’re all is SUVs like the rest of the world… and so we are doomed…

        2. Micko

          I see you’ve fallen for the Katie Melua propaganda machine.

          9 million indeed!!!

          She’s part Russian ye know…

    1. George

      Expensive ones are sent abroad for resale but likely the one in the video will be cycled around for a while then dumped or sold on cheaply.

  2. Scundered

    Grey tracksuit bottoms, the common denominator in all crime. If shops would stop selling these we could put an end to all crimes

    1. scottser

      they steal in order to buy more grey trackie bottoms.
      it’s a human tragedy; an inner city wasteland of discarded jeans and chinos, remnants of a life once lived in normalcy now replaced by an endless and desperate quest for the sensation of brushed cotton against bare thighs.

      1. ce

        “they steal in order to buy more grey trackie bottoms” – because after wearing grey trackie bottoms for more than an hour outside in Ireland and you look like you’ve soiled yourself… so you can’t blame them trying to keep up appearances…

    1. ce

      He’s actually a member of the blurred face community and your comment is super offensive

  3. Donald McCarthy

    We simply don’t like poorly dressed thieving entrepreneurial capitalist bastards.

  4. Dr.Fart

    typical Gardai approach. Lay the blame at the feet of the victims. A real “it’s your own fault for not having a decent lock” vibe to this message. Any time I’ve contacted Gardai about a crime, I’m told they can’t do anything unless they catch them in the act. My house was repeatedly broken into years ago, one day I saw the guy doing it. I know who he is and where he lives. He even shouted at me using my name. I told the Gardai and they said they have to catch him in the act. They wouldn’t go near him. Yet when I opened up his nose when I saw him in Spar days later they couldn’t keep away from me. Im probably more approachable than the other guy. Gardai are often too afraid to go after the real criminals, and find it easier to poke holes in the victim. Same with Debenhams protest. Thet got right in there and threw old women and men to the ground and dragged them off. If they were a bunch of lads from the flats they’d have kept their distance.

    I’d prefer a brave police force who dealt with bike criminals instead of warning off the victims.

    1. goldenbrown

      “find it easier to poke holes in the victim”

      yup I feel this is exactly what’s going on here

      you can be 110% certain they know who he is, no fancy AI driven facial recog needed…they know where he lives, who he hangs about with and his ma’s mobile number

      it’s just that there’s just no consequences for him and it would be far easier on yourself if you deployed 3 locks or took your quick release wheel with you or even better still kept your bike in the garage at home

      fupping less than useless

      1. Matt Fitzpatrick

        Keeping my bikes in the garage at home didn’t stop scrotes from robbing them from me.

  5. Clampers Outside

    The one time I had cctv footage of my bike being stolen from a locked metal shed at work the gardaí used the footage to apprehend the two.

    The bike was gone, but the two tykes were brought to court.

    No need for me in court, but I was asked if I wanted to give a statement by the investigating gardai.
    I wrote a short statement stating that the bike was a gift to myself for completing rehab, as I wanted to let the tykes know that they are not steeling “just a bike” when they do what they do.
    They were fined €500 which was given to me… bike had cost over a grand.

    My point… they will act if they have something to act on.


    For fun, and I know I’ve said this on here many times :)

    In my 20+ years in Dublin, I had 25+ bikes stolen, and got 2 back, although 1 of them went missing from, em, the bleedin’ Garda Station! :)

    Asking people to lock bikes securely is not victim blaming. I recall one stolen bike where I wrapped a cable lock round a pole… But I hadn’t put the cable round the bike frame, I’d just wrapped the feckin’ pole ffs! :) That bit of silliness was on me obviously.

    20 of the 25+ bikes were locked properly… the others were either not locked properly, or securely, or I was too locked myself to remember where the bloody hell I left it… Yes, that happened on one occasion :)

    1. Harold Molloy

      Good man Clamps, you seem to have a lot of positive experiences and, to me, it’s not hard to see why.

      You get what you give.

      Some people think they get endless poo from gardai and just about anyone else. There’s a common factor.

  6. Termagant

    Is part of the problem not also the 3 or 4 people you can see on the video just hanging around having a chat while this ballbag rips off someone’s bikes no more than 10 feet away
    are we the kind of people who just say “well it’s not my bike” now

    1. Django O'Reilly

      No, they are violent. I have seen them in action when someone has tried to intervene, not pretty … why would you risk being maimed for the sake of someone else’s property?

  7. Tarfton Clax

    As I always say about bike thieves… May Gulbuth the thorny cocked one hollow them out and use them as prophelactics on the pavements of hell in his mighty congress with the fang wombed hags of eternal agony forever in the chambers of excruciation.

  8. Fergalito

    Locks are no match for the battery-powered tools the pro-thieves wield.

    it’ll delay the time it takes to nick your bike alright and might place you lower down in the pecking order on the part of potential thieves. Have seen them walking around town openly brandishing the tools of their trade. What are most people going to do if they see some rogue with an angle grinder working their way through a lock? Unlikely to tackle them and wisely so I reckon.

    Anyone have any experience of what the bike-park facilities are link where underground car-parks offer the service? Any safer there?

    1. Micko

      Indeed. Lidl and Aldi are to blame.

      Damn them and their cheaply priced lock dismantling middle isle wonderland.

      It’s a scooby paradise.

  9. Andrew

    This IS a perfect example of Garda strategy. They are not really interested in the crime, or catching anyone, they are more interested in wagging a finger at law abiding citizens for not buying two locks and recording the serial number.
    In civilised European countries the police do their job.
    We have time servers, part-time Gardai more interested in their pension day and investment property.

    1. JEH

      Then it’ll be “you need 3 locks” or better yet store your bike safely locked inside a car parked across a bike lane and sidewalk.

      1. Fergalito

        Step 1. Disassemble bike on reaching your city-centre destination.

        Step 2. Place items in a secure, locked bag big enough for the purpose.

        Sep 3. Dig a 6ft hole somewhere quiet and away from people and burrowing animals.

        Step 4. Deploy an electrified, preferably app-controlled, energy shield around the buried bag.

        Step 5. Fill in the hole.

        Step 6. Hide shovel

        Step 6. Enjoy your day !

        When ready to return home simply retrieve your shovel, dig up the bag, deactivate the energy shield, remove and reassemble bike components. Use a work-stand if required.

  10. Clampers Outside

    Sorry James and Hilde…. But locking a bike is not a guarantee of not losing a bike.

    I’d doubt either of you understand what that is you are holding up.
    Yes, it a kryptonite u-lock, but like any lock brand for a bike none of them guarantee a bike cannot be stolen when the lock is used.
    Usually what you get is a “time it takes to break a lock”, and the higher the price the longer it takes to break the lock.

    A €100 lock might get you a minute and a half… Maybe a little more….been a while since I had need to buy one as I no longer live in a city where bike theft is as rampant as Dublin.

    1. Clampers Outside

      It is still worth investing in a fairly decent lock… €40 – €50 should do for most bikes.

  11. eamonn

    Great use of two TD’s time, you would have to agree.
    Nearly as useful as a Photo shoot asking bike thieves to stop being bike thieves.
    There can’t be that many cyclists who choose not to lock their cycles nowadays, can there really.
    Didn’t Michael Healy Rae have a bike stolen too, just shows you none of us are above the lawless.

  12. dhaughton99

    The Garda knows exactly who the thieves are. You need some stings setup just like the MET do.

  13. Papi

    Is it wrong to say I watched a guy try to steal my motorbike, and I had my helmet in my hand.
    I’m not sorry.

    1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

      sometimes a good clatter is the only way to go

    2. eamonn

      Guessing you still have the motorbike,maybe needed a new helmet ?
      It is a jungle out there

  14. Fergalito

    Lol … no, not wrong at all. I love it when people get caught red-handed.

    I saw a guy try to swipe a camera from some fellow on George’s Street years ago. A swift kick up the backside solved the problem. Yer man made that funny forward thrust as the kick landed. His tracksuit bottoms nearly fell down but he managed to hustle, bunch and pull them up. There was also a satisfying “boof” sound when foot met backside. Put me in good order for the rest of the day.

  15. Bitnboxy

    One of the most striking features of a visit to Japan a few years ago was the scale of cyclists who didn’t feel the need to lock their bikes. They would simply prop their bikes outside a shop (out of the way of pedestrians) and potter off to do their shopping knowing full well their bike would likely still be there on their return.

    Japan has its own serious problems but bicycle-theft and anti-social crime are not one of them. There is a real sense of security there for locals. (The downside is that it manifests also as an innate suspicion of foreigners and migrants, the latter which Japan like Ireland badly needs).

    Anyhoo, from Uni on, I’ve had a fair few bikes “disappear”.

        1. Unreal

          A Lovely Horst is Giggidy’s blow up mail order adult companion Boxy- comes with its own motherboard

  16. Conksi

    Was it cycleways on North quays that had a bike park where you could lock nbike for the day for a quid or something?
    And think i’ve seen some countries have for nothing attended bike lock parks, where you cna lock up for the day.

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