A selection of British-grown ‘pulses’, dried legume seeds including lentils, chickpeas, beans and peas

We all know it’s high time to start
Eating food that is good for one’s heart
And beans with each meal
Will soon make you feel
Fantastic. (You may also fart.)

John Moynes

Pic: The Guardian

Cuba’s vice president Miguel Diaz-Canel is expected to be named as successor to Raul Castro

Will change come to Havana town
As the last of the Castros steps down?
Well his right hand man
Will continue the plan
So there’s no need for comrades to frown.

John Moynes

Pic: AP

In China it’s sad but it’s true
That there’s not always somewhere to poo
But their friends in Japan
Have come up with a plan
To build jacks that are shiny and new

John Moynes

Pic: Guardian

This country can be hard to beat
On the rare times we get some nice heat
Just two days of storm
Before it gets warm
And then everyone’s in for a treat

John Moynes

Pic via Met Eireann

The English Market, Cork

If you’re someone who likes to pile pork
And other nice food on your fork
Then hit the south west
And put it to the test
Is the real foodie capital Cork?

John Moynes

Pic: Blarney Woolen Mills

This story might give you a fright
If you’re one to stay up late at night
The boffins know why
You’re more likely to die
Than one who gets up at first light

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

When stealing from the boys in blue
There’s one thing you might want to do
Jump up on a table
And see if you’re able
To squeeze out a big dirty poo

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Michael Cohen (above), US president Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, had his office raided by the FBI yesterday

The FBI yesterday raided
A lawyer who somehow persuaded
Someone to keep mum
About seeing Don’s bum
And Trump’s future has once again faded

John Moynes

Pic: New York Times

A survey has found Irish workers are ‘deprived of sleep and strapped for cash’

I hope that this survey won’t keep
You from getting a decent night’s sleep
We’re anxious and broke
Which isn’t a joke
It’s enough to make anyone weep

John Moynes

Rollingnews

For those asking for the 📹… #ConorMcGregor

Via @TMZ_Sports pic.twitter.com/UhS5EonaoA

— Michelle Joy Phelps (@MichellePhelps) April 5, 2018

Backstage at a UFC fight
A Dubliner gave folk a fright
He threw a hand truck
Which left people shook
It wasn’t a dignified sight.

John Moynes

Pic: TMZ