A mocked-up cover of a Time magazine in the Champions Sports Bar & Grill at the Trump National Doral Miami
I reckon it’s somewhat sublime
To appear on the cover of Time
But a chap who would make
An obvious fake
Is clearly no better than slime.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
British Prime Minister Theresa May (left) with DUP leader Arlene Foster in Downing Street yesterday
That smooth operator Arlene
Did a deal that just has to be seen
For she gets to say
If poor Mrs May
Still gets tea every week with the Queen.
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Ed Sheeran closes the Glastonbury Festival last night
Some Glastonbury-goers have said
That the headliner filled them with dread
They’re far too highbrow
For pop music now
So Sheeran left them seeing red.
John Moynes
Pic: NME
The albino corn snake found in a tree in north Dublin
Be careful out in Ballybrack
For you may end up under attack
From a big hungry snake
If he chooses to take
You home to chew on as a snack.
John Moynes
Pic Bairbre O’Malley
The ‘sourtoe’ cocktail at the Downtown hotel in Dawson City, Canada
Do any of you people know
A fellow who’d drink up and go
Without paying his bill
And, this might make you ill,
Without giving back the dead toe?
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy
If you’re going off on a trip
And you’re worried your luggage might flip
Just pretend it’s a race
To calm your suitcase
And give all your troubles the slip
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters/ Jana Asenbrennerova
Hi Luke, we see that your flight landed a few minutes early today. We hope to see you on board again soon!
— Aer Lingus (@AerLingus) June 19, 2017
An honest old fellow called Ming
Was eager to get on the wing
So he whinged at the gate
But the plane wasn’t late
It was early, and that fact must sting.
John Moynes
David Davis, UK’s Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union
Get ready for mountains of spin
As Brexit proceedings begin.
Do the Brits really feel
They can get a good deal,
That Davis can go out and win?
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Tourism expert Professor Michael Hall has described Dublin as a ‘rip-off’ destination
If you’re looking for fun and good cheer
Then be careful, for some people fear
That our prices are high
And they just can’t see why
A person would want to come here.
John Moynes
Pic: University of Canterbury
US President Donald Trump speaks to reporters at The White House yesterday
It’s a tense time for that once great nation
As Trump’s under investigation
But there’s no need to fear
For I’m sure we’ll soon hear
A perfectly good explanation.
John Moynes
Pic: AP
