Retired pilot Mike Mahon was wrongly assumed dead twice by the Department of Social Protection
In September authorities said
That poor old Mike Mahon was dead
Which was careless, but then
They did it again
So incompetence must be widespread
Author Archives: John Moynes
The Seoul city government is offering advice to pregnant women that includes ensuring their husbands have clean clothes and enough to eat while they are in hospital giving birth.
The mandarins over in Seoul
Gave instructions to those up the pole
Such as making a plan
For feeding your man
So they’re clearly talking through their hole
Alamy
Education minister Norma Foley has reversed plans to bring Leaving Certificate students into class for three days a week
A minister proclaimed a rule
That older kids should go to school
But the next day she said
They should stay home instead
Which did not make her look a fool
Danish state telly has a new animated series aimed at four- to eight-year-olds about John Dillermand (above), the ‘man with the world’s longest penis’
In Denmark on children’s TV
There’s a show on which you’re bound to see
A rather large cock
So if you’re prone to shock
Then instead just watch CBBC
Alleged fugitive Luke Voskresensky was found naked clinging to a tree in the Northern Territory, Australia
After giving the coppers a slip
Voskresensky, a man in the nip
Was found in a tree
After what seemed to be
A grueling and arduous trip
BBC
Hot cross buns were traditionally only eaten on Good Friday but are now available in Australia on shelves after Christmas
In Australia a fresh hot cross bun
In January just isn’t done
But people who bleat
About what others eat
Should relax and let folk have their fun
Getty
US President Donald Trump asked the Georgia Secretary of State to “find” votes to overturn the election results according to an audio recording
If at first you don’t succeed
Call someone in Georgia and plead
For them to help you
In staging a coup
And forging the votes that you need
Getty
US President Donald Trump issued 15 pardons last night including ones to four former government contractors who were convicted in a 2007 massacre in Iraq
The prisons erupted with glee
At Donald’s crook-pardoning spree
As a big mob of traitors
Who worked for dictators
Will now get to go home scot free
Meanwhile…
…John writes:
And that’s the last limerick of the year. Have a happy Christmas and I’ll be back in January…
Pic: Getty
Chief Medical Officer, Department of Health Dr Tony Holohan at a press briefing last night
It looks like it’s too late to save
Ourselves from the dreaded third wave
Of this awful disease
So this Christmas please
Just keep your heads down and behave
Chaos at London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday as travelers rushed to beat tighter UK restrictions caused by a new rona strain
I’m really not one to complain
But the Brits have invented a strain
Of Covid that’s said
To be more prone to spread
I hope they don’t do this again
Bloomberg