Author Archives: John Moynes

US President Donald Trump returns to the White House after news media declared Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden to be the winner of the 2020 presidential election

This weekend we had a nice treat
We got to watch Donald’s defeat
But though the game’s lost
He will, at great cost
Be mounting a fighting retreat

John Moynes

Reuters

US President Donald Trump will contest the 2024 election should he lose this year, his former White House Chief of Staff has revealed

What do you think that you’ll do
When at long last you’re age eighty two?
Well the President’s men
Think that he’ll run again
And everything they say is true

John Moynes

Getty

North Korea’s Supreme People’s Assembly has introduced smoking bans in some public places

All smokers I’m sure will agree
This news ain’t what they want to see
The spread of the fad
That says cigs are bad
North Korea is no longer free

John Moynes

Reuters

Wombats use their backside for burrowing, mating and skull-crushing

One thing that you should learn to fear
Is the wombat and its rock hard rear
With the four boney plates
That they use to woo mates
And crush any foe that comes near

John Moynes

Pic: Dick King-Smith

This morning.

Sandymount, Dublin 4.

The International Space Station this week celebrates 20 years of taking on board its first guests

Do you honestly think you could face
Spending six months up in space
As the astronauts tell
Of a horrible smell
And dirt floating all over the place

John Moynes

Pic: NASA

Tánaiste and Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment Leo Varadkar

The Tánaiste’s facing a week
Of questions concerning the leak
Of a medical deal
And many now feel
That Leo’s now stuck up the creek

John Moynes

RollingNews

Earlier:  ‘I Can’t Answer That For You’

New Yorker Leonard Shoulders was waiting for bus in the Bronx when concrete cracked open and he fell into hole, unable to shout for help

Well some stories certainly seem
Like the climax of a frightening dream
So let us not dwell
On the time Leonard fell
In a hole and was too scared to scream

John Moynes

CBS

Alldi (above) and Lidl will no longer sell ‘middle-aisle’ products during Level 5 after bowing to government pressure

If the thought of a shop’s middle aisle
Is something that leads you to smile
Then I’ve got bad news
As it looks like they’ll choose
To give them a rest for a while

John Moynes

Pic: Twitter

A record-breaking deal involving the purchase of Pokémon trading cards -livestreamed on the internet – ended in chaos when the rare first-edition haul turned out to be fake

Personally I’d find it hard
To shell out for a Pokémon card
As there’s fraudsters who make
A plausible fake
So buyers should be on their guard

John Moynes

Getty