Kazakhstan has adopted Borat’s catchphrase – “Very nice!” – for a new tourism campaign
Some people have thought of a plan
To lure tourists to Kazakhstan
With Borat’s catchphrase
But the problem these days
Is the Covid-based world travel ban
Author Archives: John Moynes
Farmers are pushing for a ban on calling vegetarian products a “burger” or a “sausage” that they say mislead consumers into thinking certain products contain meat
Meat producers assert it’s a shame
That vegans are able to name
Their food how they choose
As this may confuse
Consumers. At least that’s their claim
AFP
A chestnut tree that survived both world wars has been named Belgium’s tree of the year
In Belgium, I think you’ll agree
There’s really not that much to see
So they’ve had to choose
To make their own news
And give an award to a tree
Pics: Facebook
Several deer that roam the city of Nara, in Japan, were found dead after swallowing plastic bags and food wrappers
Some Japanese boffins who fear
That plastic might be choking deer
Have invented a bag
That won’t make them gag
So let’s give these heroes a cheer.
Getty
Nokia has won a deal to install the first cellular network on the moon
Everyone’s phone signal bar
Should be full wherever they are
And they reckon that soon
It will work on the moon
Which I think goes a little too far
Image via Nokia
Above From left: Chief Medical Officer Dr. Tony Holohan, Deputy CMO Dr. Ronan Glynn and Dr. Philip Nolan leave Government Buildings on Saturday after briefing party leaders on why they should move to Level 5
We know that at some point today
New restrictions are coming our way
So keep your head down
With a smile or a frown
Or Covid will be here to stay
Chico Rodrigues (above), the Brazilian president’s deputy leader in the senate, was reportedly caught with 30,000 reals (more than €4,500) ‘between his buttocks’
Brazilian leader Jair
Has a colleague who kept in his rear
Some cash that he stole
Which he put up his hole
To give the police a bum steer
Getty
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson promised a Brexit deal by October 15
So Johnson decided to set
A deadline that hasn’t been met
But that was just talk
No one thinks he’ll walk
Away from the table just yet
John Moynes
The Confessors on RTÉ One revealed the sacrement would often involve “priests in a very abusive, voyeuristic, not to mention erotic way … drawing people out ”
It’s asserted that more than one priest
Was a dirty voyeuristic beast
Who made each confession
An x-rated session
A practice we’re told has now ceased
Pic: RTÉ