Rudy Giuliani, attorney for US President Donald Trump, during a news conference last night on lawsuits regarding the outcome of the 2020 American Presidential election
I know it can seem quite unfair
To make jokes about somebody’s hair
But it really is fun
When the dye starts to run
And dribbles and drips everywhere.
Getty
A US survey says 38% of families plan to gather in groups of 10 people or more this Thanksgiving, with around a third saying they wouldn’t ask others to wear masks
We all know not everyone can
Face a whole meal with their clan
But if you might choose
To say you’ll refuse
Make sure you come up with a plan
Pic: Alamy stock
A middle-aged couple nicknamed East Anglia’s Bonny & Clyde have left at least dozen pubs and restaurant without paying their bills
There’s a couple of frauds who get thrills
By worming their way out of bills
They’ll visit a pub
And fill up with grub
And then scarper and head for the hills
Pic: Triangle News
Dame Tavern, Dublin last month
Breaking: Govt plans to introduce increased enforcement on public drinking are said to have been “stood down and withdrawn” at Cabinet amid opposition from Fine Gael and Green ministers
— Daniel McConnell (@McConnellDaniel) November 17, 2020
This morning.
Hic.
Proposal to fine people for gathering outdoors drinking withdrawn (RTÉ)
Meanwhile….
The government backs down in the face of A Limerick A Day. https://t.co/yzYL9DEzYq https://t.co/OjtO3tjOpF
— John Moynes (@JohnMoynes) November 17, 2020
When hope and history rhyme.
Earlier: A Limerick A Day
The Government is considering fines of less than €300 for people gathering outside to drink alcohol, under proposals going to Cabinet
Our betters in government think
That meeting outdoors for a drink
Of beer or of wine
Should result in a fine
So pay up or you’ll go to the clink
A typo in the Road Traffic Act 2016 means gardaí do not have the power to arrest people in certain cases of drug-driving.
It appears as a matter of fact
That this country’s Road Traffic Act
Contains a large flaw
Which means that the law
Is something they’ll have to retract
Amid Brexit turmoil, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s aide Dominic Cumming (above) has said he will leave Downing Street before Christmas
In Downing Street several factions
Now openly stage hostile actions
As Brexit draws near
And Covid’s still here
Can Britain afford these distractions?
WENN
Druids Jan and Karen Tetteroo (left) with farmer Donal Bohane and the ancient stone
A stone circle in Skibbereen
Is potentially now a crime scene
As a stone came unstuck
And may have brought bad luck
But now stands tall as it’s always been
Pic: Southern Star
The statue in Palencia, Spain – once the smiling face of a woman – has been replaced with a crude countenance some have likened to Donal Trump
For some reason people in Spain
Are convinced that there’s no need to train
If you’re planning to start
To restore works of art
So this happens again and again
Pic: Twitter
The hihi, or stitchbird has been hailed by the Adult Toy Megastore as a “polyamorous, sexually fluid bird with big testicles”
The hihi, a New Zealand bird
Has, as I’m sure you have heard
Balls of such great size
That it may win a prize
In a contest that’s grown quite absurd
Pic: Stuff.co.nz
