A piece of LEGO retrieved from a boy’s nose, two years after he stuck it up there
A bit of a small plastic toy
Got stuck in the nose of a boy
And stayed a long time
Then coated in slime
Reappeared and was greeted with joy
John Moynes
Pic: Mudassir Anwar
US President Donald Trump says he’s heard ‘rumours’ Democrat hopeful Kamala Harris doesn’t meet Vice President ‘requirements’
Now Trump has decided to try
To bring back his favourite old lie
And attempt to cast dirt
On someone’s birth cert
And once again this will not fly
John Moynes
Getty
Mississippi, USA has rejected a state flag featuring a giant mosquito
A good flag should commemorate
That which makes people proud of their state
But in Mississippi
Something dark and trippy
Was removed from from selection too late
John Moynes
Mississippi Flag Commission
Doheny & Nesbit, Baggott Street, Dublin 2 has hit a major downturn with an absence of office workers and tourists in the area
Pre-Covid some workers might choose
To wash down their lunch with some booze
But the workers have fled
And the streets are now dead
So some vintners are now bound to lose
John Moynes
Pic: Hospitality Ireland
Ronnie O’Sullivan (above) criticised snooker’s next generation after securing a World Championship quarter-final place to meet fellow veteran Mark Williams
Poor Ronnie is feeling quite sad
That the players he’s facing are bad
Do they deserve blame
Or is this a mind game
To try to make Williams go mad?
John Moynes
Getty
Senior leaders of America’s National Rifle Association (NRA) are fighting claims they used the powerful gun lobby group as their “personal piggy bank”
It’s alleged that executive pay
At the top of the old NRA
Has grown so obscene
That soon it might mean
The bosses could be put away
John Moynes
AP
A new book by Fox News anchor Sean Hannity had the Latin motto on its front cover updated to remove mistakes.
A broadcaster, Sean Hannity
Wrote a book about how to live free
He thought Google Translate
Would make him look great
But his ignorance was plain to see
John Moynes
Montage: Business Insider
The whereabouts of Spain’s ex-King Juan Carlos remains a mystery
The number one family in Spain
Still say that they cannot explain
Where the former king went
After his scandals meant
His presence was causing great pain
John Moynes
Getty
Three lost sailors from the Federated States of Micronesia were found after their SOS message outlined on a beach was spotted from the air
When you’re miles from the next bit of land
Just write SOS in the sand
In letters so high
They’ll be seen from the sky
And help will arrive. You’ll be grand
John Moynes
Pic via CNN
