Projected results in the first part of the French presidential race put Emmanuel Macron (left) on 27.6% and challenger Marine Le Pen (right) candidate on 23.4%
The French voted yesterday when
Macron crept ahead of Le Pen
But it seems everyone
Found the whole thing such fun
That they’re going to do it again
Getty
Peru’s prime minister Aníbal Torres (above) has caused upset after praising Adolf Hitler’s leadership
If you’re ruling over Peru
There’s one thing that you shouldn’t do
And that’s fly a kite
Saying Hitler was right
As that will not endear folk to you
EFE
New Zealand’s bomb squad rushed to a chip factory after a potato on the production line turned out to be a grenade
Some workers were rather dismayed
In a factory where chips were made
Because, to their shock,
What they thought was a rock
Was an eighty year old hand grenade
Stuff.NZ
Analysis of the electrical signals fungi send to one another has identified patterns that bear a striking structural similarity to human speech
Some boffins decided to see
If they could decode the fungi
As they claim the mushroom
Spends its whole life on Zoom
Which seems a bit trippy to me
Shutterstock
‘Ai-Da’, powered by AI, has become become the first robot to ‘paint like an artist’
In Oxford some boffins have got
What they say is a creative bot
If you ask “Is this art?”
Then you’re going to start
A dull argument. No, it is not.
Artnet
A German man is suspected of having taken 90 Covid jabs to sell vaccination cards
Doctors have been heard to plead
That you get the three jabs that you need
But one German man
Came up with a plan
To take dozens. It’s all down to greed
Six members of Japan’s maritime self-defence forces (SDF) have received suspensions after years of eating free ‘navy curry’ they were not entitled to
Some officers out in Japan
Came up with a rather neat plan
Though not working at sea
They all ate for free
As much curry as anyone can
Alamy
The price of used cars in Ireland increased by 7.9% during the first three months of this year, according to research by Done Deal
If you want to buy a new car
You’ll find that prices now are
Incredibly high
And so that is why
You’ll stick to your current jam jar
A UK police’s decision to fine 20 people for lockdown breaches appeared to shatter the claim that Covid rules were followed at 10 Downing Street
During lockdown staff at Number 10
Had a number of gatherings when
They all drank champagne
Which goes to explain
Why they’re fining some women and men
BBC
Lough Funshinagh in south county Roscommon hasn’t drained since 2016
Experts just cannot explain
Why Lough Funshinagh will not drain
As it really should
It’s now a great flood
That grows every time there is rain
IFJ
