Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has said there is an open invitation to Donald Trump to visit Ireland but the US President might only accept via Twitter
We may only find out by tweet
That Ireland’s expected to greet
An unwanted guest
That orange sex pest
Who might come to play golf, and to cheat
John Moynes
Pic: The White House
The R2D2 – formerly the R242 – near Malin Head in Co Donegal where scenes from the ‘The Last Jedi’, were filmed
Sci-fi haters may want to avoid
A boreen named after a droid
For while R2-D2
Is charming, that’s true
It’s not how his name should be employed
John Moynes
Pic: PA
Recovered bicycles at Lusk Garda station last Summer. Almost 4,000 bikes were stolen in Dublin last year
If you’re cycling buy a strong lock
Or you’ll quickly be in for a shock
For some folk just like
Making off with a bike
I hope they end up in the dock
John Moynes
Pic: Garda Press Office
A Papua New Guinean fad
To try and add heft to one’s lad
Has attracted some men
Who get treated and then
The effects are predictably bad
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Last year’s Presidential runner-up Peter Casey will contest Midlands-North West in the European Elections
Remember our old buddy Pete
Who stood up against Ireland’s elite
That spend all their nights
In five-star halting sites?
Well he’s going to do a repeat
John Moynes
Fine Gael TD Noel Rock (right) and friends before Ireland versus Austria football match at the Aviva, June 10, 2017
Upcoming blueshirt Noel Rock
has always been eager to knock
The old FAI
Then ask “Please could I
Have some tickets?” This comes as a shock
John Moynes
Pic: Twitter
Last night: Sweet FAI
Director of the United States Secret Service Randolph Alles has been fired amid a shake-up in the upper echelon of the Department of Homeland Security
So Trump has come up with a scheme
To purge his security team
In case some of them
Are secretly “Dem”
Which seems to be rather extreme
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Sunny Beach, Bulgaria – the cheapest beach destination in Europe – where a glass of wine costs €1.36
If when you sit down to dine
You like to knock back some wine
Without breaking the bank
You might like to thank
Bulgarian prices, they’re fine
John Moynes
Pic: Balkan Holidays
Zimbabwe’s legal authorities have reportedly purchased powdered wigs for the poverty-stricken country’s senior judges
Zimbabwean lawyers have said
You don’t need horse hair on your head
And this old tradition
Deserves great derision
It’s high time to put it to bed
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
Placards featuring Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May and opposition Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn near the Houses of Parliament in London
The MPs have said the UK
Should ask for a longer delay
They’ve been kicking the can
And still lack a plan
Which they swear they’ll come up with someday
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
