Author Archives: John Moynes

Former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called for a curb on immigration in Europe to ‘stop the rise’ of the far right

You won’t see a sorrier sight
Than a loser who jumps to the right
And tries to outflank
The orange skinned crank
By spouting the same racist shite

John Moynes

Pic: Associated Press

New research suggests a third of eight-year-old boys are playing over-18s computer games

It would be a terrible shame
If a child gets a fright from a game
But if your little tot
Sees something they should not
You only have yourself to blame

John Moynes

Pic: DigitalTrends


Secret systems have been developed to ensure pilots who hate each other are never working on the same flight.

When thousands of feet in the air
One hopes the pilots all share
An outlook on life
That won’t lead to strife
And that neither have clicked “Do Not Pair“

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

University College Dublin (UCD) exam hall at the RDS, May 2017

If you’d like to get a degree
Or perhaps even a PhD
It may seem like a feat
But it’s easy, just cheat
And hope that your tutors don’t see

John Moynes

Pic: Shnobs

UK Prime Minister Theresa May is facing calls to stand aside

Some Tories decided to lie
To make their great Brexit pig fly
But the best of their schemes
Were only pipe dreams
So they’re hanging Theresa to dry

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Vegan steak is now available at Tesco Ireland stores

In Holland they’ve started to make
A cunning and audacious fake
This slimy Dutch treat
Contains bugger all meat
So it certainly isn’t a steak

John Moynes

Pic: Reddit

Meanwhile…

Ah here.

Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May

It’s going to be a tough day
For embattled Prime Minister May
But if it goes well
She’ll just have to sell
Her deal to all of the UK

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Last night: Breakthrough

Jim Daly, junior Minister for Health and Older People, emerges following a slip in the Wild Atlantic Pool

If you’re launching a new swimming pool
Please stick to this one simple rule
It will all work our grand
If you stay on dry land
Don’t fall in; you’ll look like a fool

John Moynes