The Observatory bar of the Grand Central Hotel in Belfast is selling beer at £8 a pint
In Belfast they’ve opened a bar
Where some of booze prices are
So frightfully high
You’d soon question why
You chose to go there for a jar
John Moynes
Pic: Grand Central Hotel
Hawk Cliff, Dalkey, County Dublin
In Dalkey the locals don’t seek
To sneak a quick peek at your cheek
And to bathe in the nude
Is not only rude
But the action of some crazy freak
John Moynes
Pic: CNN
US Vice President Mike Pence announcing plans for a ‘Space Force’ yesterday
Trump’s Spiro Agnew Mike Pence
Outlined his new plans for defence
And the dangers they face
In the vacuum of space
It was stupid and pointless and dense.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Maura Derrane, with RTÉ 1 Today show co-host Dáithí Ó Sé, said she wouldn’t like to see a female presenter of the Rose of Tralee
We live in a dark era when
There’s savage oppression of men
At least we can say
That Dáithí Ó Sé
Will speak to the Roses again
John Moynes
Pic: RTÉ
A security alert was sparked when a package containing a sex toy was discovered on Luas tracks
If you find a suspect device
Then call the police in a trice
Then watch as the fuzz
Start giggling because
It’s a tube that should go somewhere nice
John Moynes
Sinn Fein’s Michelle O’Neill (left) and the DUP’s Arlene Foster hold power in an assembly that has not sat for 17 months
When it comes to not getting things done
The northerners are number one
Since Sinn Féin agree
With the DUP
That the best course of action is none.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Britain’s Queen Elizabeth and US president Donald Trump at Windsor Castle last month
Yet again poor old Donald’s irate
At the news of last month’s royal date
So what sorry fool
Forgot Trump’s golden rule?
He comes early, The man’s never late.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Independent Alliance Minister Shane Ross has suggested a child-minding ‘Granny grant’
Shane Ross, who’s an honourable man
Will slip a few quid to your nan
It’s important to note
That most old people vote
Though that’s nothing to do with this plan
John Moynes
Rollingnews
3D printed guns can be legally posted online
Do you think it would be lots of fun
To print out your own home made gun?
Well some experts fear
That it doesn’t appear
That it really can safely be done
John Moynes
Pic: AFP/Getty
Singer songwriter David Kitt is leaving Ireland because the cost of living is too high
A talented singer named Kitt
Has asserted that Dublin’s a bit
Too pricey for art
To thrive in its heart
So with sadness he’s going to split.
John Moynes
Pic via David Kitt
