From left: Oscar 2105 2014 winners JK Simmons, Patricia Arquette, Julianne Moore, Eddie Redmayne

It’s easy to sneer and to mock,
When Hollywood stops to take stock,
Who cares what they pick,
As the year’s greatest flick?
Just tell me who wore a nice frock.

John Moynes

(ABC)

Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe

A charming old fellow called Bob,
Has spent many years in his job,
So his country will make,
A rich tasting cake,
For Mugabe to stuff down his gob.

John Moynes

(EPA)

Stephanie Roche

In Texas a proud soccer coach,
Has announced that he’s managed to poach,
With offers of cash,
From the rich Houston Dash,
Our number one footballer, Roche.

John Moynes

(Getty)

I’ll miss those nice fellows who greet,
You each metre or two on the street,
When their outsretched hands,
And endless demands,
Are oppressed by our vicious elite.

John Moynes

(Photocall ireland)

From now on if you want to see,
What’s written inside the IT,
It’s likely you may,
Be requested to pay,
As those journalists can’t work for free.

John Moynes

(IT)

Did anyone here have a ticket,
To see Ireland play in the cricket?
They waved the big bat,
So accurately that,
They smashed the West Indian wicket.

John Moynes

(ICC)

Veronica Guerin in 1991

In Dublin the Shinners have said,
That we shouldn’t remember the dead,
And a journalist shot,
Is sad but they’ll not,
Let the plans for her name go ahead.

John Moynes

(Photocall Ireland)

A kettle’s come under attack,
From a pot who reckons it’s black,
Now it’s breeding time so,
Remember to go,
Unprotected while you’re in the sack.

John Moynes

(Times)

I’m not sure how people would feel,
In a car with no one at the wheel,
The boffins say that,
It works like a bat,
But I still can’t believe the thing’s real.

John Moynes

(Times)

Some doctors are now convinced that,
There’s no need to cut down on fat,
That diet won’t start,
To sort out your heart,
So don’t bother. It’s final. That’s that.

John Moynes

(Telegraph)