The radio figures are in,
So all of the broadcasters spin,
Poor old Liveline,
Is not doing fine,
But Tubridy had a small win.

John Moynes

JNLR

From now on the state will refuse,
To let shops sell underpriced booze,
What’s good for our health,
May be bad for our wealth,
And leave drinkers singing the blues.

John Moynes

Ireland map by Rudy Hellzapoppin

In the years since the property crash,
While being propped up with our cash,
The lads at the banks,
Found time to give thanks,
To themselves with a clandestine bash.

John Moynes

(AIB)

Junior Minister Dara Murphy

In Cork it is widely agreed,
That Dara’s a fellow in need,
Of building a stash,
Of electoral cash,
So they’ll pay out big bucks for a feed.

John Moynes

(Fine Gael)

The French can get rather irate,
If they think that you’re stirring up hate,
They won’t hem and haw,
Just call in the law,
Even if you’re only eight.

John Moynes

(France 24)

Earlier: Je Suis Helric

Diageo Brewhouse No 4, St James’ Gate, Dublin

There’s never been much of a doubt,
That the Irish are fond of their stout,
For six scary years,
It lost ground to craft beers,
A habit we all must stamp out.

John Moynes

(Leon Farrell/Photocall Ireland)

Willie Walsh, CEO of British Airways parent IAG

Willie Walsh enquired of Fine Gael
If our share of the airline’s for sale,
But they will not let go,
Of their slots in Heathrow,
So it looks like the offer might fail

John Moynes

(Graham Hughes/Photocall Ireland)

Michael Lowry TD

A world where PC has gone mad,
Makes poor Michael Lowry feel sad,
To say a kind word,
About a hot bird,
Is not something he sees as bad.

John Moynes

(Sam Boal/Photocall Ireland)

Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland, Martin McGuinness

Any day now the British will yield,
Control of our country’s fourth field,
At least that’s what Marty,
Proclaimed to his party,
When all of their plans were revealed.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)