Do you have a song you could play,
For your country in Europe next May?
It’ll need a good beat,
To get folk on their feet,
And if possible sound a bit gay.

John Moynes

(EBC)

UKIP leader Nigel Farage and newly-elected UKIP MP Douglas Carswell

A barmy ex-Tory called Doug,
Is today feeling awfully smug,
He’s once more the MP,
For Clacton-On-Sea,
And he’s UKIP’s new Westminster thug.

John Moynes

(The Times)

It’s almost that time of the year,
When Noonan bestows festive cheer,
By throwing some gold,
At the rich and the old,
And pretending he isn’t austere.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)

I’m drawing a line, I must say,
At National Poetry Day,
‘Cause poems I fear,
Are just a bit queer,
And reading them’s totally gay.

John Moynes

Pic via Unlimited Cuts

Some scary news from the U.S.,
Where officials have had to confess,
That Ebola’s crept in.
Does the end now begin?
No. That’s the doctors’ best guess.

John Moynes

(Reuters)

It’s sounds like some terrible dream,
But the government have a new scheme,
It may seem quite odd,
But they’re taking on God,
So they want all of us to blaspheme.

John Moynes

Pic: Examiner

I’m sorry, my dear, but it’s true,
George Clooney has uttered “I do”,
If that frightful old mare,
Hadn’t managed to snare,
Him I’m certain he’d have chosen you.

John Moynes

(AP)

The guards have arrested some bloke,
Whose boat was found loaded with coke,
He said he did not,
Put the drugs on his yacht,
That it must be a practical joke.

John Moynes

Pic: Defence Forces

In Stradbally the culchies are now,
Meeting up just to watch someone plough,
They stand there all day,
Drinking gallons of tay,
And enjoy it, but I can’t see how.

John Moynes

(Laura Hutton/Photocall ireland)