New Yorker Leonard Shoulders was waiting for bus in the Bronx when concrete cracked open and he fell into hole, unable to shout for help
Well some stories certainly seem
Like the climax of a frightening dream
So let us not dwell
On the time Leonard fell
In a hole and was too scared to scream
CBS
Alldi (above) and Lidl will no longer sell ‘middle-aisle’ products during Level 5 after bowing to government pressure
If the thought of a shop’s middle aisle
Is something that leads you to smile
Then I’ve got bad news
As it looks like they’ll choose
To give them a rest for a while
Pic: Twitter
A record-breaking deal involving the purchase of Pokémon trading cards -livestreamed on the internet – ended in chaos when the rare first-edition haul turned out to be fake
Personally I’d find it hard
To shell out for a Pokémon card
As there’s fraudsters who make
A plausible fake
So buyers should be on their guard
Getty
Kazakhstan has adopted Borat’s catchphrase – “Very nice!” – for a new tourism campaign
Some people have thought of a plan
To lure tourists to Kazakhstan
With Borat’s catchphrase
But the problem these days
Is the Covid-based world travel ban
Farmers are pushing for a ban on calling vegetarian products a “burger” or a “sausage” that they say mislead consumers into thinking certain products contain meat
Meat producers assert it’s a shame
That vegans are able to name
Their food how they choose
As this may confuse
Consumers. At least that’s their claim
AFP
A chestnut tree that survived both world wars has been named Belgium’s tree of the year
In Belgium, I think you’ll agree
There’s really not that much to see
So they’ve had to choose
To make their own news
And give an award to a tree
Pics: Facebook
Several deer that roam the city of Nara, in Japan, were found dead after swallowing plastic bags and food wrappers
Some Japanese boffins who fear
That plastic might be choking deer
Have invented a bag
That won’t make them gag
So let’s give these heroes a cheer.
Getty
Nokia has won a deal to install the first cellular network on the moon
Everyone’s phone signal bar
Should be full wherever they are
And they reckon that soon
It will work on the moon
Which I think goes a little too far
Image via Nokia
Above From left: Chief Medical Officer Dr. Tony Holohan, Deputy CMO Dr. Ronan Glynn and Dr. Philip Nolan leave Government Buildings on Saturday after briefing party leaders on why they should move to Level 5
We know that at some point today
New restrictions are coming our way
So keep your head down
With a smile or a frown
Or Covid will be here to stay
Chico Rodrigues (above), the Brazilian president’s deputy leader in the senate, was reportedly caught with 30,000 reals (more than €4,500) ‘between his buttocks’
Brazilian leader Jair
Has a colleague who kept in his rear
Some cash that he stole
Which he put up his hole
To give the police a bum steer
Getty
