Sir James Dyson is moving its company headquarters from the UK to Singapore

James Dyson, an arch Brexiteer
Looks forward without any fear
“My business is grand
And sure to expand
As long as I don’t base it here”

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

A Scottish farmer has admitted an ‘ancient’ stone circle on his land was built in 1990s

In Scotland a circle of stone
About which almost nothing was known
Attracted attention
Which made someone mention
He recently built it alone

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

The Leap card system cannot currently print characters such as fada signs

A spokesman for the NTA
Had something annoying to say
As tech limitations
Are causing frustrations
For people who spell the old way

John Moynes

Rollingnews

A mock-up of how the statue of the devil will look on Segovia’s aqueduct.

In Segovia, a city in Spain
Some poor judge was forced to explain
That you don’t have the right
To exclude from your sight
The likes of Hell’s Great King of Pain

John Moynes

Pic: Courtesy of José Antonio Abella

The Lancet Medical Journal suggests meat consumption must fall to avoid ‘climate catastrophe’

If we ever hope to defeat
Climate change then it’s goodbye to meat
And soon the soybean
Is all that will be seen
It’s a new world I can’t wait to greet

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

An entrepreneur called Nan Wu
Claimed in court that she thought it was true
That relief with the hand
Is perfectly grand
As long as that’s all your staff do.

John Moynes

Pic: Allstock

US President Donald Trump presented McDonald’s fast food to be served to the Clemson Tigers college football team at the White House last night

When your government’s under attack
And you’re constantly fighting off flack
And you know that it’s all
‘Cause you asked for a wall
Then it’s time to tuck into a snack

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Alexander Gauland, co-leader of Alternative für Deutschland (AfD), has called for a ‘Dexit’

The German far right has said it’s
Now taking a leaf from the Brits
So it looks as though if
Britain falls off a cliff
They still get to hang out with Fritz

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Comedian John Cleese asked the Pendulum Summit in Dublin: ‘Why don’t you Irish spell your names properly?”

An Englishman thinks it’s a shame
How an Irishman spells his own name
And can’t see our spelling
Is merely rebelling
Against England. They’re really to blame.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

The Chime radio telescope in Canada has detected 13 radio bursts

Astronomers picked up a trace
Of a signal from some far off place
This is no time for jokes
Let’s declare it a hoax
Before Trump wants a wall up in space

John Moynes

Pic: Chime Collaboration