Smoking cannabis occasionally may improve men’s fertility by stimulating sperm production, a study by Harvard University suggests.
When a young couple sit down to plan
How they’ll go about starting a clan
It may be that weed
Is just what they need
To increase the sperm cells’ lifespan
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Bales of cocaine with a ‘street value’ of €800 million was seized in the Atlantic by an EU force led by a former Garda
For gangsters it’s never a joke
When they have a whole boat load of coke
Piled up by the tonne
But the cops spoil their fun
And send the whole thing up in smoke
John Moynes
Pic: Express das Ilhas
The day after knocking back drink
A quarter of workers will think
That they don’t give a toss
So they’ll email their boss
And say they don’t feel in the pink
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Bishops have asked mass-goers to ‘co-operate’ with drink-driving checkpoints near churches
A chap who they say was divine
Was known to turn water to wine
But going to mass
Won’t get you a pass
From penalty points or a fine
John Moynes
A Japanese hand tattoo on pop star Ariana Grande (left) reads ‘small charcoal grill’ instead of the intended ‘7 rings’
Getting a foreign tattoo
Is something the trendy folk do
It’s all very well
As long as you spell
Correctly, just please think it through
John Moynes
Pics: Getty/Ariana Grande
Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May leaving the House of Commons last night
At long last the Brits have agreed
That the backstop is not what they need
Though this looks like a deal
It still won’t be real
Until all of the EU concede.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The question of sex education
Has often caused great consternation
So now schools will warn
Of the dangers of porn
As they fear it may cause masturbation
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Charles Haughey’s grandson Cathal Haughey is running for Fianna Fáil in Clontarf, Dublin, in May’s local elections.
In politics sometimes your name
Can get you ahead of the game
But is it really fair
For a young man to wear
The badge of his grandfather’s shame?
John Moynes
Us skinny folk sometimes feel that
Our weight is something we work at
But the boffins say genes
Are the cause, and this means
That there’s no skill in not getting fat
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
US President and Donald Trump with Speaker of the US House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi
The White House has tried to beseech
Pelosi to let Donald’s speech
On his union’s state
Go ahead, but his fate
Is to sit in his office and screech
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
