Australian MP Andrew Broad has promised to quit politics following allegations he was using websites to meet younger women on business trips
An Australian seeking a date
Once texted the words “G’day mate”
To someone in Hong Kong
Which his wife felt was wrong
And it sealed his political fate
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Met Éireann forecasters see little chance of snow this Christmas
Each Christmas we dream of the sight
Of a landscape that’s glistening and white
So will we have snow?
The boffins say no
So let’s hope they’re all talking shite
John Moynes
Pic: Diageo
Clean-shaven Irish Times cultural critic Donald Clarke has called for a ban on beards
When Donald admitted he feared
The sight or the feel of a beard
Was he being sardonic
Or merely ironic?
I don’t care. He’s wrong and he’s weird.
John Moynes
Pic: Irish Times
UK Prime Minister Theresa May in Downing Street last night
An Etonian’s dream of a coup
Failed, in the end, to come true
And Prime Minister May
Again starts her day
With no idea what she should do
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Sir Graham Brady (left), the chair of the 1922 Committee, has received at least 48 letters from Conservative MPs calling for a vote of no confidence in Theresa May (right) as UK Prime Minister
A Tory grandee Graham Brady
Has given bad news to a lady
He’s got forty eight notes
So it’s time for some votes
And her future’s looking quite shady
John Moynes
Pic via Twitter
UK Labour Party MP Lloyd Russell-Moyle makes a Brexit protest in Britain’s House of Commons yesterday
Westminster’s a curious place
And the Brits are rather odd race
Their latest disorder’s
Not caused by hard borders
Just a chap with a five foot long mace
John Moynes
Irish adults can expect on average to put on half a stone over the Xmas holidays
This month there’s a magical date
When we pile extra food on our plate
So you won’t be alone
If you gain half a stone
As they say that’s our national fate
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
Former Ireland captain Brian O’Driscoll said taking the painkillers Difene and co-codamol “almost became like habit
On occasion a sporting type will
Need assistance from a little pill
To make sure the pain
Will recede once again
But too much will make you quite ill
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Fine Gael TD Tom Neville (top) and as he appears in ‘Colour of Forgiveness’ (above)
A thespian Limerick TD
From the governing party, FG
Has started attracting
Attention by acting
In a movie for in-flight TV
John Moynes
Pics via Limerick Leader/’Colour of Forgiveness’
In Fingal folk wanted to see
The Dublin Bus route 40E
But it goes up a road
Where traffic once flowed
But very soon will cease to be
John Moynes
