Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan has said Ireland will hold a referendum in October to remove the offence of blasphemy from the constitution
It must take a rather rum sod
To want to make fun of a god
But our rulers deem
It okay to blaspheme
Which strikes me as just a bit odd
John Moynes
Rollingnews
Colombia’s right wing presidential candidate Iván Duque
The campaigners were hoping to sing
Some praise for Colombia’s right wing
And whip up a storm,
But they summoned a swarm
Of bees that were eager to sting
John Moynes
Pic: AP
US President Donald Trump (left) and Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in a bilateral meeting at the G7 Summit in in Charlevoix, Quebec, Canada
So how can we simple folk tell
If the G7 meeting went well?
I think you’ll agree
It’s not good to see
Them speak about places in hell
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
From top: British royals Meghan and Harry; Sinn Féin TD John Brady
A Shinner went online to say
There is absolutely no way
That he’d want see
Royals wed on TV
But they’re still more than welcome to Bray
John Moynes
Pics: Getty/RTE
“Sexy plants” produce the sex pheromones of insects which then frustrate pests’ attempts to mate.
“Eureka!” the scientists cried
“You no longer need pesticide
This plant makes a drug
That bedazzles a bug
And leaves it unable to ride.”
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy/Guardian
Pending a vote in the senate, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will tomorrow make Canada the first G20 nation to legalise recreational marijuana.
Young Trudeau’s a smart lad indeed
Who gives his folk just what they need
By the end of the week
Each Canuck will freak
Out on their stash of legalised weed
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
An engineer holds a silicon face against the head of a robot at Chinese doll factory
If the chance of a ride on a bot
Is something that makes you feel hot
Then go hump away
But don’t try to say
That it’s healthy. They’ve proven it’s not.
John Moynes
Pic Getty
Phil Blakemore (above) was caught on CCTV pooing into a golf hole at a children’s pitch and putt course and jailed for six months
Young Philip from Pwlleli Town
Gave magistrates reason to frown
After having some drink
He decided to sink
In the wrong place, now he’s going down.
John Moynes
Pics: Twitter
Ukriane-based Russian journalist Arkady Babchenko, who had been reported shot and killed on Tuesday, showed up yesterday at a news conference alive
A journalist yesterday said
Ukraine lied when they claimed he was dead
He did not tell his wife
So don’t bet your life
He’ll return to the marital bed
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
A rickshaw can be a delight
When you’re making a journey at night
But Minister Ross
(He’s our transport boss)
Says he might just give them the red light
John Moynes
Rollingnews
