Tag Archives: Daily Telegraph

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The first edition of the Daily Telegraph (top) and the updated edition (below).

By George, I think they nearly got away with it.

telegraph insert


Martin O’Neill lines up Roy Keane to form dream Republic of Ireland manager-coach duo (Luke Edwards, Daily Telegraph)

Too soon?

YOU decide.


A scuffle started in the local one Friday night. Words were exchanged, then insults and finally blows. Bottles, glasses, people, flew through the air and Casey ended up being hit in the face by a sharp piece of glass which cut off his nose.

‘Stick his nose back on and hold it with your hand,’ ordered McGinty. ‘And we’ll get him to the hospital.’

Out into the street they flew to be greeted by sheets of rain pelting down.

Quickly they bundled the injured man along and into the casualty department.

‘Will he live?’ inquired the boys.

Too late,’ said the doctor, ‘he’s a goner.’

‘Was it loss of blood?’ asked Finbar.

‘No, he drowned. You put his nose on upside down,’ sighed the doc.

Sample 2:

Murphy had asked Casey for the hand of his daughter in wedlock.

‘And can you support a family?’ asked Casey.

‘I think so,’ replied Murphy.

‘Well. There’s six of us, you know,’ said the future father-in-law.

St Patrick’s Day: Five Of The Best Irish Jokes (Telegraph)