UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been told it is “time for the truth to be released” as he faced more calls to publish a long-awaited report into “partygate”
Some Tories who’ve been left to stew
Have figured out what they should do
The crisis could stop
If the guy at the top
Could just for once say something true
Getty
Spotify has begun removing music by Neil Young (right) after the rock star called for the streaming platform to choose between him and podcaster Joe Rogan (left)
There was a Young fellow called Neil
Who just couldn’t see the appeal
Of some guy called Joe
Who still doesn’t know
That Covid and vaccines are real
Getty
A SpaceX rocket is on a collision course with the moon after spending almost seven years hurtling through space, eggheads say
The boffins are saying that soon
A rocket will crash on the moon
And it will collide
Somewhere on the dark side
So that’s where the debris will be strewn
Nasa/Futurism
A Nasa artist’s rendition of the James Webb space telescope ‘a million miles from earth’
There’s a telescope that boffins say
Is rather a long way away
And all the signs are
That it’s working so far
So we’ll see pretty pictures someday
Nasa
A committee of UK MPs has produced a report criticising the gambling industry regulator for trying to reduce addiction
A report by a group of MPs
Had conclusions unlikely to please
Those who know that bets
Can lead to large debts
The whole thing is dripping with sleaze
Alamy
Nphet has said that it is safe to remove almost every Covid-19 restriction, including the 8pm pub curfew
There are those who would think it great
To go for a scoop after eight
And Omicron’s peak
May have passed us this week
So it seems this could soon be our fate
Australia’s prime minister wants to to allow children to drive forklifts
In Queensland Scott Morrison was
The cause of some outrage because
He thought that young teens
Should drive heavy machines
On the highways and byways of Oz
Alamy
Bono gets “embarrassed” listening to U2’s songs and dislikes the name of the band
The fellow who sings in U2
Says what he does not like to do
Is hear his own work
So he can’t be a berk
As I reckon that this must be true
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson (right) lied about a lockdown party at No. 10 during the first lockdown, his ex-aide Dominic Cummings (left) claims
Some shock allegations were made
By a former top Downing Street aide
Who thought to confide
That Johnson has lied
Quite often while plying his trade
Getty
North Korea last night conducted its fourth missile test in a month
North Korea, I think you’ll agree
Is a country that must remain free
And so we’ll all cheer
And applaud when we hear
That they’ve once more flung bombs at the sea
NKTV
