Britain’s Prince Andrew (above) has lost his miiltary roles and the use of the His Royal Highness title
There once was a dirty old prince
Who hired lawyers who failed to convince
A judge that he’s clean
Which angered the Queen
This won’t make him sweat, but he’ll wince
Getty
New Zealander Zane Wedding (above) had a cockroach extracted from his ear three days after feeling ‘wriggling’
If some morning soon you might hear
A disturbing sound in your ear
And feel that you oughtta
Drain out some water
The result could be worse than you fear
New Zealand Herald
Covid loses 90% of ability to infect within minutes in the air, a new study claims
We really should all be aware
That Covid dies quickly in air
And so boffins ask
You to stick to your mask
And your chance of survival is fair
More than 100 Downing Street staff were invited to a lockdown-breaking party in the No 10 garden and told to “bring your own booze”, a leaked email shows
When Tory ministers choose
To host social events for their crews
They view Covid restrictions
As tedious fictions
And never shell out for the booze
Getty
The global spread of auto immune disease has been blamed on the ‘western diet’
If you’re someone who does like to eat
Fast food as a regular treat
There’s a chance that quite soon
An auto immune
Disease will be something you’ll meet
Cureas
South Korea’s ruling party presidential candidate Lee Jae-myung (above) has proposed that the country’s public healthcare insurance should cover hair loss treatment.
South Korea is a country where
You should go if you’re losing your hair
As the bold Lee Jae-Myung
Says cash should be flung
At the bald. Do you think that’s fair?
Getty
in a real life ‘Lassie’ moment, German shepherd Tinsley (above) led rescuers to two men injured in a traffic accident
Two men who were thrown from a truck
Survived, but it seems that it took
A remarkable pet
Who went out to get
Some help, which was rather good luck
AP
Tackling the “constipated” public and civil service will be one of the biggest challenges for Sinn Féin in government, party president Mary Lou McDonald (above) has said
It seems Sinn Féin boss Mary Lou
Has proclaimed that she knows what to do
If she gets into power
She’ll spend every hour
Helping the bureaucrats poo
Minimum unit pricing for alcohol comes into effect today
As we face into another year
So many of our drinkers fear
That they’ll have to pay more
For what they adore
As the government has banned cheap beer
A pilfering New Zealand puss called Keith (above) recently stole a trainer, a bong and underwear from neighbours
In Christchurch a larcenous cat
Has recently decided that
It’s possessed of the right
To steal what’s in sight
Which is causing a neighbourhood spat
Pic: Stuff. nz
John will return in the new year.
