Bertie Ahern (left) with Darragh O’Brien TD at a Fianna Fáil Brexit event in Athlone last night
Let’s all celebrate as we learn
That our hero has made his return
So raise up a glass
Of fresh foamy Bass
To that honest man Bertie Ahern
John Moynes
Pic via Midlands 103
Adults are banned from the Legoland Discovery Centre, Melbourne, Australia unless accompanied by a child
Some Aussies are feeling the rage
After handing a chunk of their wage
To those who say toys
Are for small girls and boys
And excluding folk of an old age.
John Moynes
In Germany, a centuries-old rule forbids dancing on Good Friday
Today spare a thought for the Hun
Whose laws won’t allow any fun
If they take a chance
And go for a dance
They’re facing a life on the run.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Kim Jong-Un visits a rocket launching site in North Korea
Our hero is standing steadfast
As Imperialist gunboats sail past
What’s needed of course
Is a great show of force
So Saturday will be a blast.
John Moynes
Montage: Getty
Randy Work asked judge to take into account his ‘genius’ during divorce proceedings
A financier called Randy Work
Demanded in court, with a smirk
A far larger share
Than his ex wife thought fair
As his genius was owed a perk.
John Moynes
Pic: AP
North Korea has stepped up its nuclear programme under leader Kim Jong-un (centre)
Now try to hold on to your seat
Kim’s promised us all a big treat
And the people’s armed might
Will deliver the sight
Of America’s total defeat
John Moynes
Pic:: Reuters
The blessed folk who make our cheese
Are begging for help on their knees
As Brexit means Brits
Are buying less. It’s
The cause of a lot of unease.
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
Today’s UK Sun
The Brexiteers say with a grin
That to kneel down is surely a sin
But then act like whores
For all the Señors
And take the results on the chin.
John Moynes
