https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO8RQ3VKoKo

A young Tory fellow name Carter
Now regrets that he started to barter
For a piece of tail
And went on to fail
To get even a glimpse of her garter.

John Moynes

The Gardaí have launched a program
To shut down a nuptial scam
In case, in some way
A couple’s big day
Turns out to be merely a sham.

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

US President Donald Trump (left) and North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un

Donald knew that on day one
He should copy the great Kim Jong-un
Patriotically say
This is a holiday
And there’s nothing new under the sun.

John Moynes

Pics: Getty

Former Minister for Health in the NI Executive Michelle O’Neill with President of Sinn Féin Gerry Adams, in the Mansion House, Dublin 2 for a debate on Irish unity yesterday

Now Gerry has hinted that he’ll
Anoint a new leader, O’Neill
She’s just the cailín
To work with Arlene
And thrash out a new Stormont deal.

John Moynes

Leah Farrell/Rollingnews

Former Northern Ireland Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness

I’ll not cheer ill health in a man
Even if he took part in a plan
To level the odds
By killing off prods
At such time a man does all he can.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Brendan O’Carroll as Mrs Brown in BBC’s Mrs. Brown’s Boys

A fictional woman called Brown
Is the latest talk of the town
It seems her chat show
Is now good to go
Which will make the highbrow types frown.

John Moynes

Pic: BBC

UK Prime Minister Theresa May on multiple Television screens in Arnotts, Dublin 1 yesterday

Three cheers for Prime Minister May
Who set out her stall yesterday
But no one’s afraid
Of the threats that she made
As she led her country astray.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Vincent Kearns with the first ticket yesterday at Ticketmaster in St Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre for the band’s concert in Croke Park on July 22.

Fans of Bono and his music say
They’ll get tickets somehow, anyway
But it seems a bit bad
Even verging on mad
When a single seat goes for 2k.

 John Moynes

Pic: Rollingnews.ie

Do you feel a little bit blue?
As if your life’s going askew?
The newspapers say
It’s the fault of this day
But I think they know it’s not true.

John Moynes

Pic: Shutterstock

Ex-agent Christopher Steele
Is having a rotten ordeal
The things that he spied
Means he now has to hide
Which is tiresome and far from ideal.

John Moynes