Former President Mary McAleese has criticised Pope Francis’s renewed ban on same-sex blessings
Do you reckon there’s much of a hope
That McAleese might praise the pope?
While he sticks to a rule
That is unfair and cruel
It’s certain the answer is “nope”.
Australian boffins want to study psychedelic drugs like Ecstasy but the country’s Therapeutic Drug Association (TDA) has refused to classify them for use in clinical settings
Down under some ministers say
They’ll fund studies on MDMA
But don’t reach for that pill
Yet because there is still
No licence from the TDA
Shutterstock
Chimpanzees at two Czech zoos 150km apart can now watch one another’s daily lives on giant screens
Covid’s left chimps in a zoo
With long days full of not much to do
So the zookeepers get
Them hooked up to the net
Which may seem bizarre but it’s true
Getty
Eccentric Tesla CEO Elon Musk has changed his job title to ‘technoking’
Elon Musk, the quite daft billionaire
Thought his his title could do with more flare
And he felt technoking
Had a dignified ring
That would make him appear debonair
Getty
Spain could become one of the first countries in the world to trial the four-day working week after the government agreed to launch a modest pilot project for companies interested in the idea
There are Spanish left wingers who say
That the government should test a way
Of getting work done
While having more fun
And extending time off by one day
Shutterstock
German police say they have solved a nine-year-old burglary case after DNA was found on a half-eaten piece of wurst
If burglary’s something you do
I’d suggest that you don’t stop to chew
Some food at the time
You’re committing a crime
As you may leave the coppers a clue
Taoiseach Micheál Martin says significant restrictions are set to remain in place until the second half of May
In April the cabinet will say
That they honestly can’t see a way
To loosen the rules
On things other than schools
This side of the last half of May
Taoiseach Micheál Martin said he is ‘surprised’ by Catholic bishops’ wish to ease restrictions on on masses and funerals
The Taoiseach was startled to see
That the bishops were making a plea
For a lockdown pass
So they could say mass
To poor sinners like you and me
I’ll tell you, in case you’ve not heard
Of a large antipodean bird
Whose descent with a crash
Made a big online splash
And went viral while looking absurd
A €12,000 course for female shepherds aims to restore balance in Spain’s countryside
Senoritas who may want to keep
And manage their own herd of sheep
Can take a course and
Cough up twelve grand
A price I think is a bit steep
Pic: New York Times
