Scientists believe crocodiles have shifted from marine prey towards land-based food sources in Australia’s Northern Territory
In this limerick I don’t mean to mock
Any Aussie who’s scared of a croc
As they’re growing so big
On a diet of pig
That they’d give you a terrible shock
Getty
A judge has held Donald Trump in contempt and fined him $10,000 a day until he hands over documents to prosecutors investigating his business practices
A New York judge stood up to say
That Donald J Trump has to pay
Until an attempt
To purge his contempt
Ten thousand dollars a day
Getty
Marine Le Pen has conceded defeat in France’s Presidential election
From Paris comes news that Le Pen
Who ran for the top job again
Was forced to concede
That she didn’t succeed
For which we should all say Amen.
Getty
British MPs have backed a formal investigation into whether UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson lied to parliament over ‘Partygate’
Tory MPs in the know
Say Johnson has fallen too low
As the word on the street’s
Is they’ll all lose their seats
Unless they can force him to go
BBC
The U.S. Capitol was evacuated last night after police identified an aircraft that they said posed “a probable threat”, but the plane was actually carrying members of the U.S. Army Golden Knights, who then parachuted into Nationals Park baseball ground for a pregame demonstration
Some people forgot to explain
That they’d be jumping our of a plane
Right over D.C.
Which made others flee
So next time I hope they’ll refrain
CNBC
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has spoken of his “humility” as he addressed MPs for the first time since receiving a fixed-penalty notice for breaching lockdown rules.
It’s agreed that the Tories of late
Have been in a sorry old state
But the man at the top
Refuses to stop
Avoiding what’s his rightful fate
Getty
Shrekapo, an elusive New Zealand merino sheep, has been shorn for the first time in his life
On the run in New Zealand somewhere
Was a sheep that had far too much hair
So they had to pull
Many kilos of wool
From its back or else people would stare
Stuff.co.nz
Americans desperate for a canine companion during covid paid for imaginary pups
Some people who started to fret
About how to find the perfect pet
Saw pics of a pup
Which made them pay up
Even though there was nothing to get
ishutterstock.
Meanwhile…
Free tonight?
John Moynes hosts the first ‘Second Thursday‘ @The Wild Duck.
A new monthly night of laughter at the Wild Duck, Sycamore Street, Temple Bar Dublin 8.
Just a tenner on the door.
All gay references have been removed from Fantastic Beasts 3 for Chinese release
In Hollywood, or so they say
There simply isn’t a way
To make films that please
The wealthy Chinese
If anyone in them is gay
Warner Bros.
Brazil’s Folha de São Paulo newspaper yesterday incorrectly reported the British Queen’s demise on its website
A Brazilian newspaper said
That the monarch of Britain was dead
So of course you can choose
To call this fake news
Or perhaps they’re just slightly ahead
Getty
