Several deer that roam the city of Nara, in Japan, were found dead after swallowing plastic bags and food wrappers
Some Japanese boffins who fear
That plastic might be choking deer
Have invented a bag
That won’t make them gag
So let’s give these heroes a cheer.
Getty
Nokia has won a deal to install the first cellular network on the moon
Everyone’s phone signal bar
Should be full wherever they are
And they reckon that soon
It will work on the moon
Which I think goes a little too far
Image via Nokia
Above From left: Chief Medical Officer Dr. Tony Holohan, Deputy CMO Dr. Ronan Glynn and Dr. Philip Nolan leave Government Buildings on Saturday after briefing party leaders on why they should move to Level 5
We know that at some point today
New restrictions are coming our way
So keep your head down
With a smile or a frown
Or Covid will be here to stay
Chico Rodrigues (above), the Brazilian president’s deputy leader in the senate, was reportedly caught with 30,000 reals (more than €4,500) ‘between his buttocks’
Brazilian leader Jair
Has a colleague who kept in his rear
Some cash that he stole
Which he put up his hole
To give the police a bum steer
Getty
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson promised a Brexit deal by October 15
So Johnson decided to set
A deadline that hasn’t been met
But that was just talk
No one thinks he’ll walk
Away from the table just yet
John Moynes
The Confessors on RTÉ One revealed the sacrement would often involve “priests in a very abusive, voyeuristic, not to mention erotic way … drawing people out ”
It’s asserted that more than one priest
Was a dirty voyeuristic beast
Who made each confession
An x-rated session
A practice we’re told has now ceased
Pic: RTÉ
Dr. Anthony Fauci (right), the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said the Trump campaign is running an ad featuring him without his permission
Anthony Fauci is sad
That Trump used his voice in an ad
As the doctor refuses
To say how he chooses
To vote, and he feels he’s been had
Getty
A treaty signed by England’s King Charles II granted 50 Flemish fishermen from Bruges “eternal rights” to English fishing waters.
It seems that an old English king
Passed a curious law allowing
The Flemish to fish
Off his coast as they wish
And some say that this right’s still a thing
John Moynes
Portrait: John Michael Wright
Men with deep voices are sexy, but unreliable, experts warn
Some boffins claim ladies should keep
Far from fellows whose voices are deep
For the scientists say
That they’re certain to stray
And you won’t know with whom they will sleep
Pic: Art Of Manliness
