Eddie Van Halen, the guitar virtuoso, has died of cancer at 65
There was a young fellow called Ed
Who strummed till his finger tips bled
And who was, by far
The best at guitar
As those in the know have all said
Orbis
Tag Archives: John Moynes
Taoiseach Micheál Martin is to move the entire country to level three restrictions for the next three weeks, rather than the Level 5 requested by chief medical officer Dr Tony Holohan
So Martin has gone on TV
To move us all to level three
But there is no way
He’ll do what the docs say
As five’s not where he wants to be
John Moynes
US President Donald Trump was criticised by medical experts after leaving hospital to drive by supporters
To let people know you’re alive
And also continuing to thrive
Just slip on a mask
And simply ask
Your staff to take you for a drive
Getty
US President Donald Trump said this morning that he and first lady Melania Trump have tested positive for the coronavirus
Here’s news that will cheer you up quick:
It turns out that Trump is now sick
So let’s hope he’ll reach
For a bottle of bleach
As he’s claimed that that will do the trick
Getty
The Supreme Court has ruled that Subway sandwiches contain too much sugar to be legally considered bread
So Ireland’s top judges have said
That Subway are not selling bread
If you’re going to bake
That much sugar it’s cake
Or something less wholesome instead
Five parrots, including one called Tyson (above) at an English wildlife park have been removed from public display after they started swearing at visitors.
If you don’t like your dialogue blue
Then stay clear of Lincolnshire Zoo
Where five talking birds
Just love dirty words
And they’ll happily shout them at you
Pic: Lincolnshire Wildlife Park
A group of scientists in Italy have reportedly found a system of liquid ponds under the south pole of Mars
Italian boffins have found
A lake below the Martian ground
So future probes ought to
Examine this water
In case anything’s swimming around
John Moynes
NASA
US President Donald Trump has denied he paid just $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017, and said he would only share his tax returns after an audit is finished.
In the papers this morning we learn
What goes into Trump’s tax return
And of course Donald’s take:
The news is all fake
And his debts are no cause for concern
John Moynes
Pic: Bloomberg
Used prophylactics found in a warehouse in Vietnam were boiled, dried and resold
Ecologists urge us to choose
To reduce, recycle, re-use
But I think it’s icky
To re-use a micky
Sheath. Honestly, I would refuse.
John Moynes
Pic: CNN
The Pacific Island of Niue is considering coming forward in time, almost a full day
The folk on the island of Niue
Have found that their time is askew
So the plan is, they say
To skip a whole day
Which seems an extreme thing to do
John Moynes
Pic: Brook Sabin