An Oxford University Covid vaccine trial has been put on hold due to an adverse reaction in a trial participant
In these times we all want to hear
That a vaccine could be drawing near
So a pause in a trial
Even just for a while
Is unlikely to lead to much cheer
John Moynes
Pic: AstraZeneca
The Government is set to reopen pubs which do not serve food on September 21
The day’s fast approaching us when
Wet pubs might reopen and then
We’ll have pints once more
But we’ve been here before
And they could just delay it again
John Moynes
During his weekly blessing, Pope Francis said gossip is ‘a plague worse than Covid’
I’ve heard that the Pontiff has said
To keep your thoughts safe in your head
And always refuse
To stand up and accuse
Those who wrong you. Just shut up instead.
John Moynes
Getty
Pub record-keeping regulations ordered by Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly
Some people in government feel
They need to keep track of each meal
That’s served in a bar
And the publicans are
Unconvinced that the plan is ideal
John Moynes
‘Wet pubs’ – pubs not serving food – could reopen their doors in early October
Some government ministers think
That it’s time to go back to the drink
Just wait a month, then
We can have scoops again
Unless do-gooders kick up a stink
John Moynes
Yes and No campaigns in New Zealand’s upcoming referendum on the legalisation and taxation of cannabis are split at 49.5% each
Of late it’s been widely agreed
That New Zealand’s a fine place indeed
But the voters are split
If you ask them is it
A smart move to legalise weed
John Moynes
Pic: Grizzle
A man in Brisbane, Australia found two massive snakes (above) in his home which had fallen through his kitchen ceiling
An Aussie who likes to partake
Of some tea got up one day to make
A nice calming brew
But the next thing he knew
He was staring at a massive snake
John Moynes
Pic: Brisbane North Snake Catchers and Relocation/Facebook
Musical events and gigs may be allowed to go ahead if alcohol is not served
It’s looking like maybe quite soon
You can go hear a band play a tune
But the staff will refuse
To let you drink booze
So it isn’t that much of a boon
John Moynes
Pic: Whelan’s
It will be an offence to attend a home gathering with more than six visitors
If you’re starting to think of a plan
To invite six friends round for a can
And invite more
The next knock on the door
Might just be from a police man
John Moynes
Pic: Kevin Scott
Phil Hogan (above) has resigned as Ireland’s European Commissioner
The former Commissioner Phil
Has announced that from now on he will
Not oversee trade
As there’s food to be made
On his brand new George Foreman Grill
John Moynes
Last night: He Could Be Anywhere
