UK Prime MinIster Boris Johnson has likened the UK to The Incredible Hulk
A PM who carries some bulk
Thinks his country is just like The Hulk
Did his claim impress?
The answer’s not yes
Which may cause old Johnson to sulk.
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
A Study of a French postman’s testicles is among this year’s ‘Ig Nobel’ prize winners
Are you wondering if your right ball
Is as warm as the other at all?
Apparently not
It’s the left one that’s hot
Says a scientist working in Gaul
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy
Najin (front) and her daughter Fatu are reportedly the last two northern white rhinos
Some rhinos were looking forlorn
As it seemed that no more would be born
But they may get their wish
Thanks to a petri dish
Though there’s no males around with the horn
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
DNA research has revealed two entirely new species of electric eel in the Amazon basin, including one capable of delivering a record-breaking jolt
This find is quite shocking I feel:
A new type of electrical eel
It’s said that they are
Much stronger by far
Than those previously known to be real
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
US Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross faces calls to resign after reports he threatened firings over ‘Sharpiegate’
When Donald Trump changed the design
Of a forecast by drawing a line
Could Wilbur foresee
That soon he would be
Facing demands he resign?
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Marks and Spencer Ireland have confirmed they will rebrand Porn Star Martini as Passion Star Martini
Let’s all take a moment to think
How a brand makes a name for a drink
I would like to warn
Against names based on porn
As they may cause a bit of a stink
John Moynes
Pic: The Portman Group/PA
See this beer? That is the most expensive beer in history.
I paid $99,983.64 for it in the Malmaison Hotel, Manchester the other night.
Seriously.Contd. pic.twitter.com/Q54SoBB7wu
— Peter Lalor (@plalor) September 5, 2019
When traveling there’s always a fear
You might pay too much for a beer
But fifty five grand
For an insipid bland
IPA seems a little severe
John Moynes
UK prime Minister Boris Johnson addresses the House of Commons yesterday as MPs debated Brexit
For Boris, I’m sorry to tell
Nothing is working out well
As many MPs
Think it’s a great wheeze
To tell the PM “Go to Hell.”
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson now has no majority to govern in parliament and is seeking a snap General Election
The British, it’s widely agreed,
Like a PM who moves at high speed
And to start with defeat
Is a wonderful treat
So Johnson is just what they need
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Frenchwoman Dominique Douthe (above) is being taken to court for boisterous quacking by her gaggle of geese and ducks
There are times when I would love a chance
To retire to the country in France
But if I can’t get peace
From loud ducks and geese
Then I’d like to be warned in advance
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
