They’re making a film about cats
So they’ve put out a trailer and that’s
Causing fury online
As some think the design
Is so bad that it’s driving them bats

John Moynes

A handwritten menu provided for passengers in business class on Indonesia’s national airlines

In business class you may feel
A nice menu should come with your meal
If it’s written by hand
Then sneering is banned
And the cops will pursue you with zeal

John Moynes

Pic: Ruis Vernandez

US Military chiefs have been ordered to reveal if the Pentagon created and spread Lyme disease

It seems like a rather mean trick
To fiddle about with a tick
And then set it free
While trying to see
If it will then make people sick

John Moynes

Pic: Allmed

What word did you learn first by reading before you realized you were pronouncing it wrong the whole time?

— Andree Lau (@alau2) July 8, 2019

If you have to say out loud a word
You’ve seen written but still haven’t heard
Just give it a go
A mistake, you should know
Will at worst sound just faintly absurd

John Moynes

The yet-to-be-titled 25th Bond film will reveal Lashana Lynch as the new 007

There’s many a thespian guy
Who has played Fleming’s fictional spy
But now his code name
Has gone to a dame
Which may leave leave some fans asking why

John Moynes

Celebrity chef Marc Veyrat has asked for his restaurant to be removed from the Michelin Guide

Marc Veyrat, a fancy French cook
Has said that he was badly shook
At the loss of a star
He asks if critics are
Entitled to write their red book.

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

Meanwhile…

@JohnMoynes
When i first had a look,
I nearly mistook,
That chef for our very own Bono,
"He's let himself go"
I thought for a mo,
He's fond of a large toblerone…o.

— Where's Grandad? (@wasteofgoodskin) July 12, 2019

Beef baron Eoin Ryan, whose grass-fed Angus cross-reared in Limerick won the ‘World’s Best Fillet’ at the World Steak Challenge in Dublin yesterday

In Limerick if you want a break
From tofu, there’s something they make
(But rush, if you’re wise
As it’s just won a prize)
A thick juicy world-beating steak

John Moynes

Pic: Global Meat News

Scientists have found that goats are able to distinguish emotions from each other’s calls and also respond to the feelings of their peers

You may find this news rather queer
But boffins have claimed goats can hear
In an other goat’s call
If they’re happy at all
Or whether they’re frozen with fear

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Anti-Trump United States women’s soccer team member Megan Rapinoe holds the Women’s World Cup trophy yesterday following her team’s fourth title

The president likes folks who win
But Megan committed the sin
Of speaking her mind
Which he thought unkind
So her chance of an invite is slim

John Moynes

Pic: Getty

The UK ambassador to the US Kim Darroch (right) wrote in a series of leaked documents that the Trump administration is ‘inept’

An experienced diplomat, Kim
Thinks America’s chances are slim
When it comes to success
As it’s all such a mess
But the Trumpites are no fans of him

John Moynes

Pics: Getty