The Lancet Medical Journal suggests meat consumption must fall to avoid ‘climate catastrophe’
If we ever hope to defeat
Climate change then it’s goodbye to meat
And soon the soybean
Is all that will be seen
It’s a new world I can’t wait to greet
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
An entrepreneur called Nan Wu
Claimed in court that she thought it was true
That relief with the hand
Is perfectly grand
As long as that’s all your staff do.
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
US President Donald Trump presented McDonald’s fast food to be served to the Clemson Tigers college football team at the White House last night
When your government’s under attack
And you’re constantly fighting off flack
And you know that it’s all
‘Cause you asked for a wall
Then it’s time to tuck into a snack
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Alexander Gauland, co-leader of Alternative für Deutschland (AfD), has called for a ‘Dexit’
The German far right has said it’s
Now taking a leaf from the Brits
So it looks as though if
Britain falls off a cliff
They still get to hang out with Fritz
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Comedian John Cleese asked the Pendulum Summit in Dublin: ‘Why don’t you Irish spell your names properly?”
An Englishman thinks it’s a shame
How an Irishman spells his own name
And can’t see our spelling
Is merely rebelling
Against England. They’re really to blame.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The Chime radio telescope in Canada has detected 13 radio bursts
Astronomers picked up a trace
Of a signal from some far off place
This is no time for jokes
Let’s declare it a hoax
Before Trump wants a wall up in space
John Moynes
Pic: Chime Collaboration
US President Donald Trump made the case for a southern border wall in a live television address last night
With his border wall still out of reach
The President made a big speech
Now here’s a surprise
It was chock full of lies
It really is time to impeach
John Moynes
Pic: AFP
Sligo farmer Andy ‘The Bull’ McSharry said he will kill any dogs found with or without a lead on his land.
A farmer is taking a stand
Against any dog found on his land
And though you may plead
That your pet’s on a lead
He’ll still open fire out of hand.
John Moynes
Russian model Oksana Voevodina (right) married Malaysia’s Muhammad V of Kelantan (left) in Moscow last week
A king who once sat on a throne
Said he could continue alone
Then a young Russian beauty
Turned his head from his duty
That’s a risk to which all men are prone
John Moynes
Pics: Getty
Belgium recorded 255 reports of UFOs in 2018, an increase on the 171 witnessed in 2017
One thing we all know is true
Is in Belgium there’s not much to do
So to Flemish surprise
When they looked to the skies
They saw something come out of the blue
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
