China has made history by landing on the far side of the Moon
Now China, Earth’s biggest commune
Has reached the dark side of the moon
Though in the space race
They’ve missed out on first place
It’s still something one shouldn’t lampoon
John Moynes
Pic: EPA/EPA/China National Space Administration
Newly re-elected Republican Utah Senator Mitt Romney (right) says US President Donald Trump has caused ‘dismay’ worldwide
Incoming Senator Mitt
Has decided that finally it
Is safe to attack
The president’s back
But will he score a palpable hit?
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The Garda division of Cavan/ Monaghan recorded a detection rate of 19.11 per 1,000 of the population for both drugs and alcohol
In Cavan it seems people think
It’s okay to drive when you drink
But this strange disorder
That thrives near the border
Can’t be met with a nod and a wink
John Moynes
Pic: Northern Sound
It’s Christmas, let’s start to prepare
Here‘s oil for your down below hair
The opening bid
Is forty four quid
You can stick it- well, I won’t say where
John Moynes
Pic: Goop
UK Prime Minister Theresa May and Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn in the House of Commons yesterday
As one all the Tories conclude
That Jeremy was rather rude
To their dear leader May
But what did he say?
Who cares while their country’s still screwed?
John Moynes
Pics: Sky News
Yesterday: Read My Lips
US President Donald Trump has agreed to dissolve his charitable foundation
The Donald once sought acclamation
By running his big Trump Foundation
Which he called a success
But the books were a mess
Which defied any honest narration
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Australian MP Andrew Broad has promised to quit politics following allegations he was using websites to meet younger women on business trips
An Australian seeking a date
Once texted the words “G’day mate”
To someone in Hong Kong
Which his wife felt was wrong
And it sealed his political fate
John Moynes
Pic: AP
Met Éireann forecasters see little chance of snow this Christmas
Each Christmas we dream of the sight
Of a landscape that’s glistening and white
So will we have snow?
The boffins say no
So let’s hope they’re all talking shite
John Moynes
Pic: Diageo
Clean-shaven Irish Times cultural critic Donald Clarke has called for a ban on beards
When Donald admitted he feared
The sight or the feel of a beard
Was he being sardonic
Or merely ironic?
I don’t care. He’s wrong and he’s weird.
John Moynes
Pic: Irish Times
UK Prime Minister Theresa May in Downing Street last night
An Etonian’s dream of a coup
Failed, in the end, to come true
And Prime Minister May
Again starts her day
With no idea what she should do
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
