Minister for Health Simon Harris (right) wants to ban anonymous sperm donations
For fertility treatment we need
Anonymous donors of seed
Now young Simon asks
Them to take off their masks
But the doctors have all disagreed
John Moynes
Pics: Rollingnews/Shutterstock
UK Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn
Though Corbyn’s main course is complete
With some veg and an absence of meat
He avoids the extremes
For pudding, it seems
The cheese board’s still his favourite treat.
John Moynes
Pic: PA
Anti-Brexit Conservative MEP Charles Tannock
Charles Tannock was wont to exhort
His countrymen all to support
The cause of Remain
So to temper his pain
He’s picked up a brand new passport.
John Moynes
Pic: PA
Sauce!
Slap-on, slap-off fixture to lighten your hysterical weeping sessions.
Will suit penny pinchers.
From left: Brexit secretary David Davis and EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier in Brussels yesterday
In Brussels the British revealed
They won’t keep their land border sealed
May said “Give them hell”
But then Dave met Michel
And promptly proceeded to yield.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Pollution on the Tolka at Drumcondra’s Griffith Park, Dublin 9 in 2014
For years now out waters have been
So dirty it’s downright obscene
It can’t be disputed
They’re far too polluted
Oh when will our rivers run clean?
John Moynes
Pic via Ciaran Cuffe
If sterling continues to fall
It could make life hard for us all
If prices increase
The British might cease
To make our food their first port of call
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Joshua Witt (above) has been arrested after admitting he made up knife attack
An American simpleton, Witt
Has proved he’s a bit of a tit
When the tale of his time
As a victim of crime
Went viral, but failed to cut it.
John Moynes
Montage via Gizmondo
The Four Courts, Dublin
If you like to get punched in the face
Then this is a very big case
Some judges will say
If it’s ever okay
For mixed martial arts to take place
John Moynes
Pic: Wikipedia
Intrepid pet dogs in San Francisco have littered the beach site of a Neo Nazi rally
On the west coast they know what to do
When facing a foul nazi crew
They’re getting their mutts
To load up their butts
And cover the whole place in poo.
John Moynes
Pics; Reuters
