The government is expected to agree an extension of present restrictions for at least another month
The cabinet continue to tease us
With hints that they reckon might please us
But keep your hopes low
We without vaccines know
We’re still hemmed in by viral diseases
Sr Anne Marie (left) and Mother Irene of the Holy Face community in Leap, County Cork broke Covid guidelines to attend an exorcism of the Dáil
Two sisters of the Holy Face
Before Christmas left their ordained place
Thus breaching the plan
Of both God and man
They seem bereft of saving grace
Government sources have told The Irish Times that Level 5 restrictions will stay until April
Instead of spokespeople who speak
Our leaders have leakers who leak
It’s just how they choose
To handle bad news
Without tarnishing their mystique
Meanwhile…
Level 5 for another 9 weeks dropped casually by informal sources just goes to show how the government doesn’t give a fuck about people’s mental health in this country, they drop things like that with absolutely no sensitivity
— colleen 🥑 (@colleenconlon00) February 18, 2021
Mindfulness, laughter and a robot dog may relieve lockdown loneliness, say University of Cambridge researchers
Some boffins researched what is known
About coping with living alone
And it seems your best bet
Might be a robot pet
To liven up your comfort zone
Pic: Sony
European space chiefs have launched their first recruitment drive for new astronauts in 11 years, with particular emphasis on encouraging women and people with disabilities to join missions
Now Europe is starting to chase
After people to send in to space
Which may seem extreme
But don’t we all dream
Of being more than 5k from this place?
ESA
More than 120 camels roaming the Australian outback have been auctioned off online for about $250 a head
An Aussie with fields full of weed
Can rely on a camel whose greed
For acacia to eat
Which they see as a treat
Will clear the land up at great speed
Getty
Australian celebrity magazine New Idea’s cover story (right) declared Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are separating on the same day the couple announced they are expecting their second child.
At what should be a time of great joy
When expecting a girl or a boy
Some Aussies think it
Is time that you split
That’s something that’s bound to annoy
Romance scammers are making fortunes thanks to lonely singles stuck at home during the pandemic
As lockdown looks set to drag on
It may seem nice if you chance upon
A mystery crush
But don’t be in a rush
To make contact, it may be a con
Pic: Pixabay
US boffins have shown that pigs can use a digital screen and joystick, operated by their snout, to move a cursor around for rewards
So pigs, if they’re given joysticks
Can be taught to do several tricks
On a computer screen
It remains to be seen
What problems this news may now fix
Pic: Candice Croney
Hippopotamuses brought to Colombia as part of drug dealer Pablo Escobar’s private zoo must be culled, scientists say
There’s still quite a big job to do
With the remnants of Escobar’s zoo
As it’s widely agreed
That wild hippos will breed
And they’re dangerous beasts to bump into
Pic: CNN
