The Brazil Butt Lift is the fastest growing cosmetic surgery in the world, despite the mounting number of deaths resulting from the procedure
Do you think that this might be the year
When you let surgeons sort out your rear?
Some experts advise
That it may not be wise
They think the whole thing’s a bum steer
Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II lobbied the UK government to conceal her “embarrassing” private wealth from the public, according to documents obtained by The Guardian
In Britain an embarrassed queen
Did not want her wealth to be seen
So befitting her station
A shell corporation
Acts as a vast opaque screen
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A Bar Council survey has found barristers considered the ‘viability of their practice’ the most significant challenge facing them in the year ahead.
Some people in wigs at the bar
Are claiming that lately they are
Finding things tough
They’re not earning enough
To purchase another sports car
A woman has been sentenced in New Zealand after being caught trying to smuggle nearly 1,000 cacti and succulents strapped to her body
A smuggler called Wenqing Li
Brought cacti where they shouldn’t be
Across New Zealand’s border
But now a court order
Means that she is no longer free
Pic: Alamy
The Moderna vaccine is administered at the HSE National Ambulance Service HQ last month
It seems when we’ve all got through June
(A time that just can’t come too soon)
Half of us will have been
Treated to a vaccine
If the government don’t change their tune
US boffins have taught spinach plants to email humans when bombs are detected in soil
In news that I’m startled to see
Some brainy types at MIT
Have spent their whole grant
On teaching a plant
To send emails to you and me
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Interstellar visitor Oumuamua is the first object to come from beyond our solar system
About three and a half years ago
Omuamua, a strange UFO,
Which may have been planned
By some alien hand
Paid a visit, say those in the know
Pic: Astronomy
US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (left) has accused Senator Ted Cruz of “trying to get me killed” by challenging the election results in the lead up to the Capitol riot
A tea party Texan Ted Cruz
Surprisingly opted to choose
To side with AOC
But predictably she
Was quite quick to firmly refuse
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US Youth Poet Laureate Amanda Gorman, above speaking at the Presidential inauguration, has signed with a model agency
Model agencies think it’s high time
To do deals with people who rhyme
We’ll see verses that scan
On catwalks in Milan
And at long last I might earn a dime
Getty
Orange dots represent the 10 unprovoked bites that proved fatal last year, with six of the deaths in Australian waters
For everyone in the last year
There has been a surplus of fear
But swimmers down under
Must now also wonder
If hungry Great White Sharks are near
Graph: Florida Museum
