Historian David Starkey has issued an apology for claiming slavery was not genocide because there are “so many damn blacks” still around
David Starkey, with egg on his face
Has admitted his thoughts about race
Were so far from wise
That he’ll apologise
And try to reduce his disgrace
John Moynes
Pic: Telegraph
Scientists in Italy are investigating the mysterious appearance of pink glacial ice in the Alp
These days it’s easy to think
That our planet is now on the brink
As diseases run free
And we’re starting to see
Alpine glaciers that are turning pink
John Moynes
Russian President Vladimir Putin can now lead the country until 2036.
Some good news for Putin today
As it’s clear that he’s now here to stay
It’s important to note
That they had a fair vote
And the people have all had their say
John Moynes
AP
Reopened pubs will be monitored by hundreds of health-and-safety inspectors and Fáilte Ireland staff
Some pubs can currently choose
To let people in to drink booze
But watch out for a spy
Who checks if rules apply
But can’t fine the pubs who refuse.
John Moynes
Pic via Frances
The absence of tourists in Nara, Japan has done wonders for the digestive issues among the city’s deer population
Nara is known for its deer
But tourists no longer appear
And it seems that
Is good for their scat
So let’s all give deer poo a cheer
John Moynes
AP
The incoming government may postpone the planned easing of restrictions on overseas travel next month
It looks like there‘ll be a delay
Before we can all get away
I’m sure trips to Spain
Will happen again
But for this year we’ll just have to stay
John Moynes
Reuters
NASA’s ‘gravity-defying’ space toilet system has cost $23 million to develop
If someone on the moon has to do
An out of this world number two
They’ll hope the design
Is working just fine
And it safely gets rid of their poo
John Moynes
Pic: NASA
Deadly ‘Murder’ hornets from Asia measure up to 2 inches and can wipe out entire honeybee colonies within hours
One thing that we don’t want to see
Is the end of the poor honeybee
So promise you will
Go straight out and kill
A hornet or two or else three
John Moynes
Pic: BC Ministry of Agriculture
As foreign tourism seized up so did the flow of free bananas tossed their way, prodding the macaques of Lopburi, Thailand (above) to turn to violence.
The tourists might think that it’s sweet
To see apes running free on the street
But think of the strife
To spend your whole life
Surrounded by monkeys on heat
John Moynes
AFP
Spain’s art restoration laws will be tightened following two disfiguring attempts (right) to restore Bartolomé Esteban Murillo’s ‘Immaculate Conception’ (left)
It’s time for someone to explain
To art lovers over in Spain
That a faded Old Master
Can become a disaster
In seconds. Don’t do it again.
John Moynes
Montage: Europa Press 2020
