Marks and Spencer Ireland have confirmed they will rebrand Porn Star Martini as Passion Star Martini
Let’s all take a moment to think
How a brand makes a name for a drink
I would like to warn
Against names based on porn
As they may cause a bit of a stink
John Moynes
Pic: The Portman Group/PA
See this beer? That is the most expensive beer in history.
I paid $99,983.64 for it in the Malmaison Hotel, Manchester the other night.
Seriously.Contd. pic.twitter.com/Q54SoBB7wu
— Peter Lalor (@plalor) September 5, 2019
When traveling there’s always a fear
You might pay too much for a beer
But fifty five grand
For an insipid bland
IPA seems a little severe
John Moynes
UK prime Minister Boris Johnson addresses the House of Commons yesterday as MPs debated Brexit
For Boris, I’m sorry to tell
Nothing is working out well
As many MPs
Think it’s a great wheeze
To tell the PM “Go to Hell.”
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson now has no majority to govern in parliament and is seeking a snap General Election
The British, it’s widely agreed,
Like a PM who moves at high speed
And to start with defeat
Is a wonderful treat
So Johnson is just what they need
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Frenchwoman Dominique Douthe (above) is being taken to court for boisterous quacking by her gaggle of geese and ducks
There are times when I would love a chance
To retire to the country in France
But if I can’t get peace
From loud ducks and geese
Then I’d like to be warned in advance
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
On his first flying lesson, trainee pilot Max Sylvester (above) was forced to land on his own after his instructor fainted
To be honest I cannot see why
So many folk learn to how to fly
If your teacher might faint
Then it certainly ain’t
Something I’m willing to try
John Moynes
Pic:s: 9News Perth
Since Yuri Gagarin’s last-minute toilet break in 1961, each Russian space mission begins with a call of nature
Cosmonauts always agree
That it’s vital to sprinkle some wee
On the wheel of a bus
But now there’s a fuss:
Their new suit has no fly we can see
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Protests in Westminster, London last night calling for the British parliament not to be suspended
Now Boris has said to the Queen
That he can’t stand the Westminster scene
So could he please take
A month or so’s break
And then let the Commons convene
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Whether we see this glass as half full or half empty may say something about our chances of living beyond the age of 85, according to a new academic study
Some scientists have testified
That their latest data implied
That to live a long life
You should stay clear of strife
And always look on the bright side
John Moynes
Pic: iStock
Buckets of faux fried chicken (above) are on sale from today at one KFC branch in the US
A wonderful Kentucky treat
Is a nugget of crispy white meat
But KFC know
That flesh sales are slow
So they’ve new ones for vegans to eat
John Moynes
Pic: KFC
