US President Donald Trump reportedly suggested bombing Hurricane Michael before it reached America
Poor Donald still doesn’t know why
You can’t use a nuke in the sky
To blow up some wind
But this orange-skinned
Fool is still willing to try
John Moynes
Pic: Reuters
Online hate is like when milk curdles: ‘an aggregation of objects into communities,’ an expert says
Bad apples, it is often said
Can explain just how hatred is spread
But trolls and their ilk
Are more like curdled milk
So let’s all study bubbles instead
John Moynes
Pic: Alamy
10th Century cosplay at last year’s Vikingfest in Dublin City
We’ve always suspected, of course
That some of our ancestry’s Norse
And now boffins tell
How our own numbers fell
Before the Danes came here in force
John Moynes
So Donald has fired off a tweet
Saying he’s not going to to meet
The Danish unless
They first acquiesce
To give him some land as a treat
John Moynes
Plans for the toilet facilities (above) in Bridgend, Wales included water jets to soak users if violent movement was detected
In Bridgend they need a new loo
But the council insists it’s not true
That a high pressure spray
To keep shaggers away
Is something they’re planning to do
John Moynes
Pic: RSC Architects
Seamus Callanan lifts the Liam MacCarthy Cup for Tipperary pic.twitter.com/s90Cu3wOnV
— The Sunday Game (@TheSundayGame) August 18, 2019
There’s many a sore head in Tipp
As on Sunday they managed to slip
More over the bar
Than Kilkenny by far
And won in the big championship
John Moynes
US President Donald Trump has apparently expressed a desire to purchase Greenland from Denmark
Though Greenland is covered in ice
It seems Donald thinks it quite nice
But the Danes won’t donate
So much real estate
So he’d have to cough up a huge price
John Moynes
Pics: TripAdvisor/Getty
New Zealand Men are licking lichen (above) in attempts to combat erectile dysfunction
A lichen that grows on a rock
Is rumoured to harden your cock
But all experts say
You should stay well away
If you take it you’re in for a shock
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
A Donegal GP has blamed severe lack of sunshine in the county for low vitamin D levels
Doctors do not like to see
Low levels of Vitamin D
When they did a big test
Up in the north west
The results didn’t fill them with glee
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
A sell-out crowd of 82,300 was reached in Croke Park last Saturday evening for the All-Ireland semi-final between Dublin and Mayo
If you’re thinking you might want to go
To watch Dublin win five in a row
Then maybe think twice
As they’ve hiked up the price
Once again, which is rather poor show
John Moynes
Pic: Sky Sports
