US Republican Senator Ted Cruz and Democrat congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tweeted their agreement over a ban on lawmakers becoming lobbyists.
Did you think you would ever see
The day Ted Cruz and AOC
Would both come around
To find common ground
On a topic where they both agree?
John Moynes
Pics: Fox
US President Donald Trump reportedly ordered a warship named after John McCain to be ‘out of sight’ during his recent visit to Japan
Trump has always shown great disdain
For the late honest man John McCain
Just the sight of his name
Can make bone spurs inflame
And cause the dear leader great pain
John Moynes
Pic: US Navy
The five-foot long snake, named Sammi by wildlife rescuers, was found abandoned in the Wicklow Mountains National Park last weekend.
The annals of old Ireland say
St Patrick drove our snakes away
So long in the past
That his magic can’t last
And they’re slithering back here today
John Moynes
An albino panda spotted at a nature reserve in southwest China
This morning we see a rare sight
That will bring nature lovers delight
Now it’s not about race
But this panda’s face
Is surprisingly entirely white
John Moynes
AFP/Wolong National Nature Reserve.
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, above with Fine Gael TD Maria Bailey, has said her claim against a Dublin hotel has caused “reputational harm” to Fine Gael.
If you’re planning to sit on a swing
You may want to remember one thing
Hold on with your hand
And all will be grand
Don’t fall off, continue to cling
John Moynes
Update:
Theresa May is expected to announce her departure date as UK Prime Minister today
Raise your hands and shout Hip Hip Hooray
For at long last this could be the day
When the UK can be
After these long years free
From the tyranny of Mrs May
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Fergal Mulligan, programme director of the National Broadband Plan, has said the plan may cost the state €1bn less than the reported €3bn
The cabinet have to confess
That their big broadband plan is a mess
Now one of their staff
Has said, for a laugh
That it may cost one billion less
John Moynes
Pic via Oireachtas.ie
Japan’s foreign minister Tara Kono will ask foreign media outlets to write Japanese names with the family name first, as is standard in Japan
Taro Kono will shortly proclaim
That when writing a Japanese name
Give the last word a shunt
Till it gets to the front
And you’re winning the nominative game
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Nigel Farage is doused in milkshake while campaigning in Newcastle, England yesterday
Now Farage and his shitty ilk
Deserve to be showered in milk
Shakes, but his base
Will say it’s a disgrace
While Nigel’s still farting through silk
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
In a letter sent to the Irish Times, doctors in the newly-formed ‘Cannabis Risk Alliance’ have warned of the dangers of possible reefer madness in Ireland if pot is legalised
A group of top doctors agreed
That talk of medicinal weed
Is a big Trojan Horse
That will soon lead, of course
To a terrible future indeed
John Moynes
Pic: The Cannabis Collection
