The question of sex education
Has often caused great consternation
So now schools will warn
Of the dangers of porn
As they fear it may cause masturbation
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Author Archives: John Moynes
Us skinny folk sometimes feel that
Our weight is something we work at
But the boffins say genes
Are the cause, and this means
That there’s no skill in not getting fat
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
US President and Donald Trump with Speaker of the US House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi
The White House has tried to beseech
Pelosi to let Donald’s speech
On his union’s state
Go ahead, but his fate
Is to sit in his office and screech
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
Sir James Dyson is moving its company headquarters from the UK to Singapore
James Dyson, an arch Brexiteer
Looks forward without any fear
“My business is grand
And sure to expand
As long as I don’t base it here”
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
A Scottish farmer has admitted an ‘ancient’ stone circle on his land was built in 1990s
In Scotland a circle of stone
About which almost nothing was known
Attracted attention
Which made someone mention
He recently built it alone
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
The Leap card system cannot currently print characters such as fada signs
A spokesman for the NTA
Had something annoying to say
As tech limitations
Are causing frustrations
For people who spell the old way
John Moynes
A mock-up of how the statue of the devil will look on Segovia’s aqueduct.
In Segovia, a city in Spain
Some poor judge was forced to explain
That you don’t have the right
To exclude from your sight
The likes of Hell’s Great King of Pain
John Moynes
Pic: Courtesy of José Antonio Abella
The Lancet Medical Journal suggests meat consumption must fall to avoid ‘climate catastrophe’
If we ever hope to defeat
Climate change then it’s goodbye to meat
And soon the soybean
Is all that will be seen
It’s a new world I can’t wait to greet
John Moynes
Pic: Shutterstock
An entrepreneur called Nan Wu
Claimed in court that she thought it was true
That relief with the hand
Is perfectly grand
As long as that’s all your staff do.
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
US President Donald Trump presented McDonald’s fast food to be served to the Clemson Tigers college football team at the White House last night
When your government’s under attack
And you’re constantly fighting off flack
And you know that it’s all
‘Cause you asked for a wall
Then it’s time to tuck into a snack
John Moynes
Pic: Getty