Restaurateur Philippe Weiner (above) says EU must have been referring to his place when warning diplomats to avoid a Brussels restaurant
If you’re in Brussels late and you feel
Like finishing work with a meal
The prices are high
And the waiter’s a spy
And all that you say he’ll reveal
John Moynes
Pic via The Guardian
In Yorkshire there was once was a nun
Who decided to go on the run
So brave Sister Joan
Struck out on her own
To live free, have sex and have fun
John Moynes
Getty
Former UK Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has called for a multi-billion-pound cut in the UK’s overseas aid budget
The Tories are casting some shade
At foreign development aid
For when Brexit kicks in
Their reserves will be thin
They’ll have less cash than if they had stayed
John Moynes
Pic: RAF/flickr
Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, 40, discovers he has the metabolism of a 53-year-old during ‘Operation Transformation’ last night on RTÉ 1
One thing that I don’t like to see
Is a Taoiseach whose younger than me
But now I’m quite glad
Leo’s health is so bad
The computer says he’s fifty three.
John Moynes
Smoking cannabis occasionally may improve men’s fertility by stimulating sperm production, a study by Harvard University suggests.
When a young couple sit down to plan
How they’ll go about starting a clan
It may be that weed
Is just what they need
To increase the sperm cells’ lifespan
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Bales of cocaine with a ‘street value’ of €800 million was seized in the Atlantic by an EU force led by a former Garda
For gangsters it’s never a joke
When they have a whole boat load of coke
Piled up by the tonne
But the cops spoil their fun
And send the whole thing up in smoke
John Moynes
Pic: Express das Ilhas
The day after knocking back drink
A quarter of workers will think
That they don’t give a toss
So they’ll email their boss
And say they don’t feel in the pink
John Moynes
Pic: Allstock
Bishops have asked mass-goers to ‘co-operate’ with drink-driving checkpoints near churches
A chap who they say was divine
Was known to turn water to wine
But going to mass
Won’t get you a pass
From penalty points or a fine
John Moynes
A Japanese hand tattoo on pop star Ariana Grande (left) reads ‘small charcoal grill’ instead of the intended ‘7 rings’
Getting a foreign tattoo
Is something the trendy folk do
It’s all very well
As long as you spell
Correctly, just please think it through
John Moynes
Pics: Getty/Ariana Grande
Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May leaving the House of Commons last night
At long last the Brits have agreed
That the backstop is not what they need
Though this looks like a deal
It still won’t be real
Until all of the EU concede.
John Moynes
Pic: Getty
